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AMERICANS ANNOYED BY “ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT” ON INTERNET

AMERICANS ANNOYED BY “ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL SHIT” ON INTERNET

Web’s Increasingly Worldly Flavor Threatens Americans’ Worldview PULLMAN, WASH. (SatireWire.com) – The profusion of international news available on the Internet has made it increasingly difficult for the average American to ignore the rest of the world, a [Read More]

ELLISON TO GRADS: DIPLOMAS ARE FOR LOSERS

ELLISON TO GRADS: DIPLOMAS ARE FOR LOSERS

Oracle CEO Urges Students to Drop out, Start up NEW HAVEN, CONN. (SatireWire.com) – In one of the more controversial commencement addresses in memory, Oracle CEO and college dropout Larry Ellison told Yale’s Class of 2000 they were “losers” whose [Read More]

AT&T TO CUT WORKFORCE 120 PERCENT

AT&T TO CUT WORKFORCE 120 PERCENT

NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) -- AT&T will reduce its workforce by an unprecedented 120 percent by the end of 2001, believed to be the first time a major corporation has laid off more employees than it actually has. AT&T stock soared more than 12 points on the news. [Read More]

AT&T NOT IN SERVICE AT THIS TIME

AT&T NOT IN SERVICE AT THIS TIME

Cutback Program’s ‘Remarkable Success’ Cited for Demise NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Less than one year after AT&T’s surprise decision to eliminate 120 percent of its workforce, (see story), the company disclosed today it has achieved [Read More]

STUDY FINDS YOU REALLY DON’T MAKE A DIFFERENCE

STUDY FINDS YOU REALLY DON’T MAKE A DIFFERENCE

In Grand Scheme of Things, Your Hard Work, Diligence, Found to Mean Squat London, England (SatireWire.com) – In an unprecedented study, British and American researchers have concluded that despite what you’ve been told at work, you really don’t make a [Read More]

NATION HAVING HARD TIME GIVING SHIT ABOUT AOL-TIME WARNER MERGER

NATION HAVING HARD TIME GIVING SHIT ABOUT AOL-TIME WARNER MERGER

Largest Merger in Media History Seen as Historic, Revolutionary, Whatever DULLES, VA. (SatireWire.com) – Continually bombarded by news that the AOL-Time Warner merger would create the world’s first fully integrated media and communications company – a [Read More]

JUDGE DENIES BIAS AGAINST “GUILTY MICROSOFT BASTARDS”

JUDGE DENIES BIAS AGAINST “GUILTY MICROSOFT BASTARDS”

“My Published Comments About Those Evil Pricks Were Misconstrued,” Jackson Says Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Attempting to keep both his reputation and ruling intact, Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson today apologized for his derogatory public remarks [Read More]

SALLY STRUTHERS BEGS YOU TO SAVE THE DOT-COMS

SALLY STRUTHERS BEGS YOU TO SAVE THE DOT-COMS

Share Your Love with an Internet Company in Need; Become a Sponsor “Hello there, Right now, all over the world, dot-coms are hurting. They are suffering from faulty business plans and cash-flow shortfalls. They lack earnings and even the most basic of revenue models. [Read More]

Wall Street Suffers Worst Setback Since Yesterday

Wall Street Suffers Worst Setback Since Yesterday

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Stocks took another beating yesterday in what analysts are now calling the worst day on Wall Street since the day before yesterday. The Dow Jones Industrial Average fell to a record low, while the Nasdaq plunged even further. The last [Read More]

Martha Stewart Says Laws Only Apply To People

Martha Stewart Says Laws Only Apply To People

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – In a deft legal maneuver, lawyers representing Martha Stewart todaydemanded that investigations of the uber domestician be dropped, pointing out that U.S. securities laws only prohibit insider trading committed by humans. Attorneys [Read More]

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Latest Topics

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

BAGHDAD (SatireWire.com) – With the Middle East hopelessly fractured and America's allies increasingly [Read More]

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – Despite breaking industry records for safety recalls, General Motors this week announced [Read More]

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – General Motors today announced it will split into separate car-making and car-recalling [Read More]

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

NATAL, BRAZIL (SatireWire.com) -- After a third biting incident in four years, Uruguayan striker Luis Suarez will be [Read More]

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

PETERSBURG, KY (SatireWire.com) – Creationists using a deep-faith telescope said today they have discovered a galaxy [Read More]

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