News. Ish.
Tuesday August 30th 2016    Become a Fan on Facebook   Follow Us On Twitter

Business

ZUCKERBERG TO GRADS: ‘GOOD LUCK COMPETING WITH ME’

ZUCKERBERG TO GRADS: ‘GOOD LUCK COMPETING WITH ME’

BERKELEY, CAL. (SatireWire.com) -- In a commencement speech few are likely to forget, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg today urged the University of California's Class of 2011 to follow their dreams, unless they compete Facebook, in which case those dreams will die. [Read More]

OIL EXECS WARN TAX HIKES WILL INCREASE COST OF SCREWING US

OIL EXECS WARN TAX HIKES WILL INCREASE COST OF SCREWING US

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) — Dragged before Congress, oil executives on Thursday denied that industry tax breaks are used to increase profits, saying they are instead used to screw us, which is a pre-profit fixed cost along with exploration, drilling, extraction, [Read More]

IPHONE SECRETLY TRACKING HOW DULL YOUR LIFE IS

IPHONE SECRETLY TRACKING HOW DULL YOUR LIFE IS

CUPTERINO, CAL. (SatireWire.com) -- Apple iPhones secretly track and record their owners’ location, a potentially devastating privacy breach that experts warn could force people to face the fact that they never really go anywhere interesting. [Read More]

FACEBOOK SURPASSES MASTURBATION

FACEBOOK SURPASSES MASTURBATION

PALO ALTO, CAL. (SatireWire.com) – In yet another sign of its growing dominance, Facebook today announced it has surpassed masturbation as the world’s most popular way to kill 10 minutes. [Read More]

RETAILERS REJOICE AS BLACK FRIDAY TRAMPLINGS UP 22 PERCENT

RETAILERS REJOICE AS BLACK FRIDAY TRAMPLINGS  UP 22 PERCENT

NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Retailers breathed a sigh of relief today as early Black Friday numbers indicated same-store tramplings were up 22 percent over last year. [Read More]

TSA: PASSENGERS CAN PUT GENITALIA IN LUGGAGE

TSA: PASSENGERS CAN PUT GENITALIA IN LUGGAGE

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Hoping to show it finally understands the problem, the TSA said today passengers sensitive to enhanced pat-downs will be allowed to put their genitals in checked luggage or carry on bags, which are scanned separately. [Read More]

AIRPORT SCREENERS NOT THRILLED ABOUT TOUCHING YOU EITHER

AIRPORT SCREENERS NOT THRILLED ABOUT TOUCHING YOU EITHER

SAN DIEGO (SatireWire.com) -- Caught up in a privacy firestorm already immortalized by the phrase ‘Don’t touch my junk,’ airport screeners today pointed out that they’re not exactly thrilled to have to touch most of you, either. [Read More]

HISTORY MADE AS PASSENGERS RETURN FROM CRUISE LIGHTER

HISTORY MADE AS PASSENGERS RETURN FROM CRUISE LIGHTER

SAN DIEGO (SatireWire.com) -- After two harrowing days without an all-you-can-eat buffet, nearly 4,500 people stranded on a Carnival Cruise ship arrived in San Diego today, marking the first time passengers have ever returned from a cruise weighing less than when they left. [Read More]

REMAINING U.S. CEOs MAKE A BREAK FOR IT

REMAINING U.S. CEOs MAKE A BREAK FOR IT

El Paso, Texas (SatireWire.com) -- Unwilling to wait for their eventual indictments, the 10,000 remaining unincarcerated CEOs of U.S. public companies made a break for it yesterday, heading for the Mexican border, plundering towns and villages along the way, and writing [Read More]

SUPREME COURT RULES EARNINGS SHOULD BE PROTECTED AS “ART”

SUPREME COURT RULES EARNINGS SHOULD BE PROTECTED AS “ART”

Recognition of Pro-Formalist Movement Gets WorldCom, Andersen Off Hook Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a surprise decision that exonerates dozens of major companies, the U.S. Supreme Court today ruled corporate earnings statements should be protected as works [Read More]

 Page 3 of 19 « 1  2  3  4  5 » ...  Last » 

Latest Topics

PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: THE BRUTALLY IMPARTIAL UPDATE

PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: THE BRUTALLY IMPARTIAL UPDATE

MANCHESTER, N.H. (SatireWire.com) – The presidential candidates spread out across New Hampshire today after Texas [Read More]

REPORT CONFIRMS POOREST HALF OF WORLD PROBABLY NOT EVEN TRYING

REPORT CONFIRMS POOREST HALF OF WORLD PROBABLY NOT EVEN TRYING

OXFORD, U.K. (SatireWire.com) -- A new report claims just 62 individuals control as much wealth as half the world’s [Read More]

MELTING ARCTIC ICE EXPOSES ANCIENT, OMINOUS MESSAGE

MELTING ARCTIC ICE EXPOSES ANCIENT, OMINOUS MESSAGE

GREENLAND (SatireWire.com) -- Scientists today said ice melt in the Arctic is perhaps much worse than previously [Read More]

AMERICANS RUSH TO BUY MORE GUNS THAT WILL BE TAKEN AWAY

AMERICANS RUSH TO BUY MORE GUNS THAT WILL BE TAKEN AWAY

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Fearing that President Obama’s executive action on gun control will lead to [Read More]

TRUMP TAKES CRAP ON STAGE AS WORDS TAKE SOLID FORM

TRUMP TAKES CRAP ON STAGE AS WORDS TAKE SOLID FORM

CLEMSON, S.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Donald Trump’s increasingly toxic rhetoric reached its natural conclusion today as [Read More]

Recent Comments

DAN AND BENJI WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS | SatireWire | dot.com.edy had this to say

— In a surprising disclosure, God revealed this week that He does not determine what happens in human lives, but Read the post

Karlena's Blog - Satire had this to say

http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=5649 Read the post

Karlena's Blog - Satire had this to say

http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=5649 Read the post

Homepage had this to say

... ... Find More Informations here: satirewire.com/content1/?p=5549 ... Read the post

Weiner’s Weiner To Hold Press Conference Amid Growing Scandal | PARODY REPORT - The DRUDGE REPORT of Satire had this to say

Weiner Debacle Sparks Penis-Control Debate Read the post

Archives

Crazy Slots Casino