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UNIVERSITIES OFFER NEW “BACHELOR OF WHATEVER” DEGREE

UNIVERSITIES OFFER NEW “BACHELOR OF WHATEVER” DEGREE

NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) -- Sensitive to claims they no longer prepare students for the real world, universities across the country today unveiled a new type of degree – the Bachelor of Whatever (B.W.), where students select their own courses, track their own [Read More]

U.S. BOSSES BRACING TO BE TOLD TO FUCK OFF BY LOTTERY WINNER

U.S. BOSSES BRACING TO BE TOLD TO FUCK OFF BY LOTTERY WINNER

ATLANTA (SatireWire.com) -- As Americans turn out in droves to purchase tickets for Friday’s $640 million lottery drawing, the nation’s managers, supervisors, and administrators are bracing themselves for someone to walk through their door Monday morning and tell them [Read More]

GAS-PRICE PROTESTER CAN’T AFFORD TO SET HIMSELF ON FIRE

GAS-PRICE PROTESTER CAN’T AFFORD TO SET HIMSELF ON FIRE

LOS ANGELES, CA (SatireWire.com) – A desperate 33-year-old man attempting to set himself on fire to protest rising gas prices abandoned his demonstration today after he was unable to afford the gallon of fuel needed to douse himself and light a match. [Read More]

GOVT ADMITS IT AIMED RULE AT ONE PARTICULARLY HOT CATHOLIC NURSE

GOVT ADMITS IT AIMED RULE AT ONE PARTICULARLY HOT CATHOLIC NURSE

WASHINGTON (SatireWire.com) – The administration today backed off a requirement that religious employers provide birth control coverage after conceding the entire rule was actually written in a government attempt to hook up with a particularly hot 23-year-old Catholic [Read More]

ANALYSIS SHOWS EVERY SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL WAS PRO-OBAMA

ANALYSIS SHOWS EVERY SUPER BOWL COMMERCIAL WAS PRO-OBAMA

NEW YORK (SatireWire.com) -- It is entirely true, as Republicans claim, that Chrysler’s “Halftime in America” commercial, run during the Super Bowl and starring Clint Eastwood, was blatantly pro-Obama. After all, “halftime” clearly refers to it being halfway [Read More]

VIDEO SHOWS BAIN EXECUTIVES URINATING ON LAID-OFF WORKERS

VIDEO SHOWS BAIN EXECUTIVES URINATING ON LAID-OFF WORKERS

COLUMBIA, S.C. (SatireWire.com) – Efforts to paint Mitt Romney as a heartless corporate raider were reinforced today after a 1992 videotape surfaced showing Bain Capital executives urinating on helpless, laid-off workers. [Read More]

CHINA TO MANUFACTURE CHEAPER AMERICAN BABIES

CHINA TO MANUFACTURE CHEAPER AMERICAN BABIES

BEIJING (SatireWire.com) – In a further blow to U.S. manufacturing, China today announced it will produce American babies at one-tenth the cost of its U.S. counterparts. [Read More]

MARKET EXPERTS ADVISE CALM. TILL NEXT TUESDAY. THEN PANIC

MARKET EXPERTS ADVISE CALM. TILL NEXT TUESDAY. THEN  PANIC

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) - Despite the sharp downturn in the stock market, economic and financial experts today advised investors to remain calm and continue to hold on for the long-term, which they said would end abruptly next Tuesday when a market panic wipes [Read More]

WHITE HOUSE, GOP NOW JUST TRADING ‘YO MAMA’ SNAPS

WHITE HOUSE, GOP NOW JUST TRADING ‘YO MAMA’ SNAPS

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Bad-tempered deficit reduction talks hit bottom today as the White House and Republicans abandoned compromise and sunk to trading “Yo Mama’s So Fiscally Incompetent” barbs. [Read More]

ZUCKERBERG TO GRADS: ‘GOOD LUCK COMPETING WITH ME’

ZUCKERBERG TO GRADS: ‘GOOD LUCK COMPETING WITH ME’

BERKELEY, CAL. (SatireWire.com) -- In a commencement speech few are likely to forget, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg today urged the University of California's Class of 2011 to follow their dreams, unless they compete Facebook, in which case those dreams will die. [Read More]

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Latest Topics

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

EDINBURGH (SatireWire.com) – The Lord God Almighty, executive producer of the long-running Life on Earth, has [Read More]

DAN AND BENJI, NOT GOD, WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

DAN AND BENJI, NOT GOD, WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

(SatireWire.com) -- In a surprising disclosure, God revealed this week that He does not determine what happens in human [Read More]

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

BAGHDAD (SatireWire.com) – With the Middle East hopelessly fractured and America's allies increasingly [Read More]

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – Despite breaking industry records for safety recalls, General Motors this week announced [Read More]

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – General Motors today announced it will split into separate car-making and car-recalling [Read More]

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