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MINDSPRING DEMANDS ANNULMENT

MINDSPRING DEMANDS ANNULMENT

Merger with EarthLink a “Mistake,” Says Embarrassed ISP ATLANTA, GA (SatireWire.com) – Internet access provider MindSpring has filed in a Georgia Superior Court for an annulment of its recently completed multi-billion dollar merger with EarthLink, saying [Read More]

DOT-COMS “JUST KIDDING” ABOUT BEING DOT-COMS, SAY DOT-COMS

DOT-COMS “JUST KIDDING” ABOUT BEING DOT-COMS, SAY DOT-COMS

Profitless Internet Firms Insist They’re Unfairly Labeled as Profitless Internet Firms SAN JOSE, CAL. (SatireWire.com) – Arguing they are being unfairly labeled as money-losing dot-coms, nearly 400 money-losing dot-coms announced this week they were “just [Read More]

AUCTION SITE SELLERS CHOOSE HINT OVER HYPE

AUCTION SITE SELLERS CHOOSE HINT OVER HYPE

“A ‘ wild abstract painting ‘ bought at a garage sale and auctioned off over the Internet with a starting bid of 25 cents sold for $135,805 in a bidding frenzy by buyers hoping it was an undiscovered work by the late Richard Diebenkorn.” - MSNBC, May [Read More]

INTERNET DIVE FORCES FIRMS TO USE ‘MONEY’

INTERNET DIVE FORCES FIRMS TO USE ‘MONEY’

Companies Confused Over Having to Take Something Other Than Stock Santa Clara, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – The Internet stock drop has done more than just lop off paper profits. Start-ups, which once regularly paid for goods and services in stock, have been forced to [Read More]

BUSINESS PROVERB “SUCCESS BUILT ON FAILURE” BEING TAKEN MUCH TOO LITERALLY, SAYS STUDY

BUSINESS PROVERB “SUCCESS BUILT ON FAILURE” BEING TAKEN MUCH TOO LITERALLY, SAYS STUDY

“Failure is just a step along the way to success.” – Fast Company, March 2001 Driving Company into Ground Makes it Hard to Dominate Market, Report Notes Palo Alta, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – “Success is built on failure” has long been an [Read More]

IT’S OFFICIAL: EVERYBODY HATES MICROSOFT

IT’S OFFICIAL: EVERYBODY HATES MICROSOFT

Iowa Farm Girl, Last Holdout; Gives in After Talk with Preacher WATERLOO, IOWA (SatireWire.com) – Sixteen-year-old high school sophomore Becky Atherton, believed to be the last remaining American who did not hate Microsoft, announced today that she was “tired of [Read More]

CEO DREAM DATES

CEO DREAM DATES

The Captains of Industry Describe Their Fortune 500 Fantasies New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – We asked a dozen Fortune 500 CEOs to describe their dream dates with one (or more?) of their Fortune 500 colleagues. CEO: Carleton (Carly) Fiorina Hewlett-Packard (19) [Read More]

HOW TO SPOT A FAKE PRESS RELEASE

HOW TO SPOT A FAKE PRESS RELEASE

NEW HAVEN, CONN. (SatireWire.com) – Investors learned a brutal lesson last week, when a false press release sent stock in data networking company Emulex down more than 50 percent. The release, sent out over Internet Wire, claimed the company’s chief executive [Read More]

E=MC²: Quantum Consumer Theory

E=MC²: Quantum Consumer Theory

Formula Explains Behavior of Internet, Consumers, even Shopping Malls CAMBRIDGE, ENGLAND. (SatireWire.com) – Why do Americans consume so much? What do glazed doughnuts have to do with the Internet’s rapid growth and sudden upheaval? Why do small people [Read More]

GIRLFRIEND ANNOUNCES DISAPPOINTING Q3 RESULTS

GIRLFRIEND ANNOUNCES DISAPPOINTING Q3 RESULTS

Relationship Falls Well Below Expectations New York, N.Y. (SatireWire) – Laura Feldstein (Brooklyn, 24) today announced disappointing results in her relationship with skeezing loser boyfriend Derek McHugh (Brooklyn, 27) for the quarter ended Aug. 31. In the [Read More]

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Latest Topics

GOP MAY RECONSIDER PLAN TO RUN SLATE OF RACIST PEDOPHILES IN ’18

GOP MAY RECONSIDER PLAN TO RUN SLATE OF RACIST PEDOPHILES IN ’18

BIRMINGHAM, AL - Following Roy Moore’s surprise loss to Democrat Doug Jones in the Alabama Senate race Tuesday, the [Read More]

For White Men to Survive, We Need to Start Acting Like Prey

For White Men to Survive, We Need to Start Acting Like Prey

In order to survive, we straight, white, Christian males need to stop acting like predators and begin acting like prey. [Read More]

TEENAGER USES ROY MOORE DEFENSE

TEENAGER USES ROY MOORE DEFENSE

FATHER: Son, did you steal $20 from your mother’s purse? SON: No. [Read More]

PAUL RYAN RUSHED TO HOSPITAL AFTER ERECTION LASTS MORE THAN 4 HOURS

PAUL RYAN RUSHED TO HOSPITAL AFTER ERECTION LASTS MORE THAN 4 HOURS

House Speaker Paul Ryan was rushed to a hospital today after negotiations over House and Senate tax reform bills caused [Read More]

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: REX TILLERSON SPOTTED IN ASIA!

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: REX TILLERSON SPOTTED IN ASIA!

TOKYO (SatireWire.com) – Reclusive CEO-turned-Secretary-of-State Rex Tillerson has been spotted in Asia cozying up [Read More]

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