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APPEALS COURT RULES MICROSOFT NEEDS MORE TIME TO KILL OFF COMPETITORS

Netscape Knocked Off During First Trial Phase, Oracle Will Take Longer Washington, D.C. (SatireWire) – A federal appeals court Thursday reversed the Microsoft breakup and sent the case back to a lower court, ruling that the software giant violated antitrust laws, but [Read More]

DELL SUPPORTS EXTENDING GATEWAY AMNESTY

DELL SUPPORTS EXTENDING GATEWAY AMNESTY

Gateway Denies Amnesty Exists; Dell Says Just Trying to Help Round Rock, Texas (SatireWire.com) – Dell Computer today said it supports extending the amnesty period for anyone possessing a Gateway computer, arguing Gateway owners should be given “at least” [Read More]

TECH FIRMS FILE FOR INTELLECTUAL BANKRUPTCY

TECH FIRMS FILE FOR INTELLECTUAL BANKRUPTCY

Lucent, PSINet Among Those Eligible for New Chapter 51 Protection Ashburn, Va. (SatireWire.com) – A week after stating it may have to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy but nonetheless wants to continue paying $105 million for the 20-year naming rights to a professional [Read More]

LAYOFFS, STOCK DROPS PROVE FIRMS BOASTING THEY’D BE “NEXT AMAZON” WERE RIGHT

LAYOFFS, STOCK DROPS PROVE FIRMS BOASTING THEY’D BE “NEXT AMAZON” WERE RIGHT

Some Even Outperform Amazon.com’s Underperformance Reston, Va. (SatireWire.com) – Investors know Internet companies often can’t back up their promises, but one common boast has some dot-com executives crowing “I told you so.” Several online [Read More]

MICROSOFT SAYS LINUX HAS NO FUTURE, SO LINUX INDUSTRY WILL STOP

MICROSOFT SAYS LINUX HAS NO FUTURE, SO LINUX INDUSTRY WILL STOP

Despite Gains in Market Share, Linux Firms To Call It Quits Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Chastened Linux executives pledged to stop their “crazy dreaming” and disband their efforts after an executive from Microsoft proclaimed Linux was doomed, and [Read More]

DOTCOM CHAIN LETTER REALLY WORKS!

With a Minimal Investment, Net Companies Finally Raking in Real Cash! *********************************************************** DO NOT DELETE THIS! Print it, and read it! THIS “PROGRAM” REALLY WORKS!! [Read More]

WOULD PRICELINE OR YAHOO GET FUNDED TODAY?

WOULD PRICELINE OR YAHOO GET FUNDED TODAY?

How Venture Capitalists Would React If Today’s Big-Shots Were Start-Ups STAMFORD, CONN. (SatireWire.com) – It’s often said that if someone approached the FDA with aspirin today, the product would never be approved. Would the same hold true for Priceline, [Read More]

SUN RELEASES OFFICIAL MICROSOFT STANCE

SUN RELEASES OFFICIAL MICROSOFT STANCE

Reusable Statement Expected to Save Time, Money PALO ALTO, CAL. (SatireWire.com) – In an effort to streamline corporate communications and eliminate redundancy, Sun Microsystems today issued what it called its “official and final” statement on the [Read More]

FED PRESCRIBES ‘CONTROLLED BURN’ OF DOT.COMS

FED PRESCRIBES ‘CONTROLLED BURN’ OF DOT.COMS

Most Aggressive Move Yet Would Thin Out ‘Overgrown’ Sector WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Comparing the Internet to an uncontrolled and overcrowded forest, the Federal Reserve today authorized a “prescribed burn” to incinerate the vast [Read More]

MINDSPRING DEMANDS ANNULMENT

MINDSPRING DEMANDS ANNULMENT

Merger with EarthLink a “Mistake,” Says Embarrassed ISP ATLANTA, GA (SatireWire.com) – Internet access provider MindSpring has filed in a Georgia Superior Court for an annulment of its recently completed multi-billion dollar merger with EarthLink, saying [Read More]

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Latest Topics

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

BAGHDAD (SatireWire.com) – With the Middle East hopelessly fractured and America's allies increasingly [Read More]

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – Despite breaking industry records for safety recalls, General Motors this week announced [Read More]

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – General Motors today announced it will split into separate car-making and car-recalling [Read More]

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

NATAL, BRAZIL (SatireWire.com) -- After a third biting incident in four years, Uruguayan striker Luis Suarez will be [Read More]

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

PETERSBURG, KY (SatireWire.com) – Creationists using a deep-faith telescope said today they have discovered a galaxy [Read More]

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