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POSTCARDS FROM THE EX

POSTCARDS FROM THE EX

“So eager is Autodesk (to rehire employees who left for dot.coms) … that it even sends a postcard to former employees a few months after they leave, asking if the grass is really greener.” – The New York Times, 4/14/00. Dot.com Jumpers Gone But Not [Read More]

APPEALS COURT RULES MICROSOFT NEEDS MORE TIME TO KILL OFF COMPETITORS

Netscape Knocked Off During First Trial Phase, Oracle Will Take Longer Washington, D.C. (SatireWire) – A federal appeals court Thursday reversed the Microsoft breakup and sent the case back to a lower court, ruling that the software giant violated antitrust laws, but [Read More]

DELL SUPPORTS EXTENDING GATEWAY AMNESTY

DELL SUPPORTS EXTENDING GATEWAY AMNESTY

Gateway Denies Amnesty Exists; Dell Says Just Trying to Help Round Rock, Texas (SatireWire.com) – Dell Computer today said it supports extending the amnesty period for anyone possessing a Gateway computer, arguing Gateway owners should be given “at least” [Read More]

TECH FIRMS FILE FOR INTELLECTUAL BANKRUPTCY

TECH FIRMS FILE FOR INTELLECTUAL BANKRUPTCY

Lucent, PSINet Among Those Eligible for New Chapter 51 Protection Ashburn, Va. (SatireWire.com) – A week after stating it may have to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy but nonetheless wants to continue paying $105 million for the 20-year naming rights to a professional [Read More]

LAYOFFS, STOCK DROPS PROVE FIRMS BOASTING THEY’D BE “NEXT AMAZON” WERE RIGHT

LAYOFFS, STOCK DROPS PROVE FIRMS BOASTING THEY’D BE “NEXT AMAZON” WERE RIGHT

Some Even Outperform Amazon.com’s Underperformance Reston, Va. (SatireWire.com) – Investors know Internet companies often can’t back up their promises, but one common boast has some dot-com executives crowing “I told you so.” Several online [Read More]

MICROSOFT SAYS LINUX HAS NO FUTURE, SO LINUX INDUSTRY WILL STOP

MICROSOFT SAYS LINUX HAS NO FUTURE, SO LINUX INDUSTRY WILL STOP

Despite Gains in Market Share, Linux Firms To Call It Quits Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Chastened Linux executives pledged to stop their “crazy dreaming” and disband their efforts after an executive from Microsoft proclaimed Linux was doomed, and [Read More]

DOTCOM CHAIN LETTER REALLY WORKS!

With a Minimal Investment, Net Companies Finally Raking in Real Cash! *********************************************************** DO NOT DELETE THIS! Print it, and read it! THIS “PROGRAM” REALLY WORKS!! [Read More]

WOULD PRICELINE OR YAHOO GET FUNDED TODAY?

WOULD PRICELINE OR YAHOO GET FUNDED TODAY?

How Venture Capitalists Would React If Today’s Big-Shots Were Start-Ups STAMFORD, CONN. (SatireWire.com) – It’s often said that if someone approached the FDA with aspirin today, the product would never be approved. Would the same hold true for Priceline, [Read More]

SUN RELEASES OFFICIAL MICROSOFT STANCE

SUN RELEASES OFFICIAL MICROSOFT STANCE

Reusable Statement Expected to Save Time, Money PALO ALTO, CAL. (SatireWire.com) – In an effort to streamline corporate communications and eliminate redundancy, Sun Microsystems today issued what it called its “official and final” statement on the [Read More]

FED PRESCRIBES ‘CONTROLLED BURN’ OF DOT.COMS

FED PRESCRIBES ‘CONTROLLED BURN’ OF DOT.COMS

Most Aggressive Move Yet Would Thin Out ‘Overgrown’ Sector WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Comparing the Internet to an uncontrolled and overcrowded forest, the Federal Reserve today authorized a “prescribed burn” to incinerate the vast [Read More]

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Latest Topics

PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: THE BRUTALLY IMPARTIAL UPDATE

PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: THE BRUTALLY IMPARTIAL UPDATE

MANCHESTER, N.H. (SatireWire.com) – The presidential candidates spread out across New Hampshire today after Texas [Read More]

REPORT CONFIRMS POOREST HALF OF WORLD PROBABLY NOT EVEN TRYING

REPORT CONFIRMS POOREST HALF OF WORLD PROBABLY NOT EVEN TRYING

OXFORD, U.K. (SatireWire.com) -- A new report claims just 62 individuals control as much wealth as half the world’s [Read More]

MELTING ARCTIC ICE EXPOSES ANCIENT, OMINOUS MESSAGE

MELTING ARCTIC ICE EXPOSES ANCIENT, OMINOUS MESSAGE

GREENLAND (SatireWire.com) -- Scientists today said ice melt in the Arctic is perhaps much worse than previously [Read More]

AMERICANS RUSH TO BUY MORE GUNS THAT WILL BE TAKEN AWAY

AMERICANS RUSH TO BUY MORE GUNS THAT WILL BE TAKEN AWAY

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Fearing that President Obama’s executive action on gun control will lead to [Read More]

TRUMP TAKES CRAP ON STAGE AS WORDS TAKE SOLID FORM

TRUMP TAKES CRAP ON STAGE AS WORDS TAKE SOLID FORM

CLEMSON, S.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Donald Trump’s increasingly toxic rhetoric reached its natural conclusion today as [Read More]

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