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SOMEDAY, WE’LL ALL LOOK BACK ON THIS AND LAUGH IN A DERISIVELY BITTER, DISILLUSIONED WAY

SOMEDAY, WE’LL ALL LOOK BACK ON THIS AND LAUGH IN A DERISIVELY BITTER, DISILLUSIONED WAY

Sardonic, Resentful Laughter Awaits Dotcommers Who Let Go Anger, Says Report Palo Alto, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – Whether you’ve lost your job at a dotcom or your money investing in one,  business psychologists at Stanford University say most people will not only [Read More]

YOUR BOSS, A HOOKER, AND A CAMERA

YOUR BOSS, A HOOKER, AND A CAMERA

To Avoid Layoffs, Use the Proper Tools, Say Employment Experts Minneapolis, Minn. (SatireWire.com) – As the economy continues to lose altitude and companies shed weight to stay aloft, employees the world over live in constant fear of layoffs. But according to job [Read More]

EXECUTIVE ROAD TRIP: MY NIGHT WITH BILL GATES

EXECUTIVE ROAD TRIP: MY NIGHT WITH BILL GATES

SatireWire’s Andy Marlatt Tours the Capital with The Man (or Boy?) from Redmond WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Bill Gates and I drive along E Street in my rented Corolla, past renovated apartment buildings and upscale shops sandwiched between old government [Read More]

DOT-COM REFUGEES: LIFE IN CAMP ALPHA

DOT-COM REFUGEES: LIFE IN CAMP ALPHA

Hope Dwindles for Thousands; Kozmo.com Gang Doing OK Since the fall of Internet stocks began in April, former dot-com employees, forced from their jobs, have made their way to Dot-Camp Alpha, a makeshift settlement on a barren hillside in Silicon Valley. Despite its lack of [Read More]

FIRED DOT-COM WORKERS GRANTED REFUGEE STATUS

FIRED DOT-COM WORKERS GRANTED REFUGEE STATUS

U.N. to Provide Aid to Thousands Forced to Flee Their Jobs NEAR EMERYVILLE, CALIF. (SatireWire.com) – Alarmed by “deplorable” conditions at swelling dot-com relocation camps, the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees today granted Official Refugee [Read More]

HEADHUNTING FIRM DECAPITATES 250

HEADHUNTING FIRM DECAPITATES 250

Peruvian Firm Takes Their Cut Off the Top ICUPIRA, PERU (SatireWire.com) – GreatHeadHunters.com, which has decapitated more than 250 corporate executives in the past three months, has run afoul of U.S. authorities, who claim the Peruvian-based [Read More]

IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED, POINT THAT OUT

IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED, POINT THAT OUT

“A fired dot-com worker can be an asset. Workers are even more hirable after having worked in a firm that struggled or did not make it. Prospective employers see it as a valuable learning experience.” – John Challenger, CEO of consulting firm Challenger, [Read More]

POSTCARDS FROM THE EX

POSTCARDS FROM THE EX

“So eager is Autodesk (to rehire employees who left for dot.coms) … that it even sends a postcard to former employees a few months after they leave, asking if the grass is really greener.” – The New York Times, 4/14/00. Dot.com Jumpers Gone But Not [Read More]

APPEALS COURT RULES MICROSOFT NEEDS MORE TIME TO KILL OFF COMPETITORS

Netscape Knocked Off During First Trial Phase, Oracle Will Take Longer Washington, D.C. (SatireWire) – A federal appeals court Thursday reversed the Microsoft breakup and sent the case back to a lower court, ruling that the software giant violated antitrust laws, but [Read More]

DELL SUPPORTS EXTENDING GATEWAY AMNESTY

DELL SUPPORTS EXTENDING GATEWAY AMNESTY

Gateway Denies Amnesty Exists; Dell Says Just Trying to Help Round Rock, Texas (SatireWire.com) – Dell Computer today said it supports extending the amnesty period for anyone possessing a Gateway computer, arguing Gateway owners should be given “at least” [Read More]

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CHEVY COBALT: “I HAVE A DISABILITY, NOT A DEFECT”

CHEVY COBALT: “I HAVE A DISABILITY, NOT A DEFECT”

In the last several days I have been called everything from “flawed” to “tragically dangerous,” and it hurts. I [Read More]

SPOILER ALERT: UN REPORT RUINS END OF GLOBAL WARMING DRAMA

SPOILER ALERT: UN REPORT RUINS END OF GLOBAL WARMING DRAMA

NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) -- Global warming followers the world over were outraged today after the U.N. failed to [Read More]

INSIDE THE INSIDE THE INSIDE OF THE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS PROCESS

INSIDE THE INSIDE THE INSIDE OF THE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS PROCESS

“People think it’s some grand, mysterious process, but honestly it’s not,” says one Yale University admissions [Read More]

RUSSIA TO ANNEX ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.

RUSSIA TO ANNEX ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.

MOSCOW (SatireWire.com) -- After claiming the right to seize Crimea because of its Russian heritage, President Vladimir [Read More]

WORLD LEADERS STAND UP TO PUTIN IN THEIR MINDS

WORLD LEADERS STAND UP TO PUTIN IN THEIR MINDS

KIEV, UKRAINE (SatireWire.com) -- Leaders from Europe and the United States today declared time was up on Russian [Read More]

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