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GOD TAKES STAKE IN FORD

GOD TAKES STAKE IN FORD

Analysts Quickly Up Earnings Estimates DEARBORN, MICH. (SatireWire.com) – Ford’s stock quadrupled yesterday after the automotive giant announced it agreed to sell 20 percent of the company to the Lord God Almighty, who analysts expect will take a hard stance [Read More]

MOSKOWITZS AGAIN TOP SALARY SURVEY

MOSKOWITZS AGAIN TOP SALARY SURVEY

‘Robert Moskowitz’ now 4th Most Popular Name for Newborns DENVER, COL. (SatireWire.com) - The average salary for people named Robert Moskowitz continues to outpace the per capita income of the average American, according to the 3rd annual Robert Moskowitz Salary [Read More]

EUROPE NOT USED TO NOT BEING IGNORED

EUROPE NOT USED TO NOT BEING IGNORED

G.E.’s Acquiescence Threatens Delicate Balance of Transatlantic Mutual Disdain The Hague (SatireWire.com) – Europe and the U.S. are said to be furious with General Electric after the American firm hinted it may actually succumb to European pressure and cancel [Read More]

SOMEDAY, WE’LL ALL LOOK BACK ON THIS AND LAUGH IN A DERISIVELY BITTER, DISILLUSIONED WAY

SOMEDAY, WE’LL ALL LOOK BACK ON THIS AND LAUGH IN A DERISIVELY BITTER, DISILLUSIONED WAY

Sardonic, Resentful Laughter Awaits Dotcommers Who Let Go Anger, Says Report Palo Alto, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – Whether you’ve lost your job at a dotcom or your money investing in one,  business psychologists at Stanford University say most people will not only [Read More]

YOUR BOSS, A HOOKER, AND A CAMERA

YOUR BOSS, A HOOKER, AND A CAMERA

To Avoid Layoffs, Use the Proper Tools, Say Employment Experts Minneapolis, Minn. (SatireWire.com) – As the economy continues to lose altitude and companies shed weight to stay aloft, employees the world over live in constant fear of layoffs. But according to job [Read More]

EXECUTIVE ROAD TRIP: MY NIGHT WITH BILL GATES

EXECUTIVE ROAD TRIP: MY NIGHT WITH BILL GATES

SatireWire’s Andy Marlatt Tours the Capital with The Man (or Boy?) from Redmond WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Bill Gates and I drive along E Street in my rented Corolla, past renovated apartment buildings and upscale shops sandwiched between old government [Read More]

DOT-COM REFUGEES: LIFE IN CAMP ALPHA

DOT-COM REFUGEES: LIFE IN CAMP ALPHA

Hope Dwindles for Thousands; Kozmo.com Gang Doing OK Since the fall of Internet stocks began in April, former dot-com employees, forced from their jobs, have made their way to Dot-Camp Alpha, a makeshift settlement on a barren hillside in Silicon Valley. Despite its lack of [Read More]

FIRED DOT-COM WORKERS GRANTED REFUGEE STATUS

FIRED DOT-COM WORKERS GRANTED REFUGEE STATUS

U.N. to Provide Aid to Thousands Forced to Flee Their Jobs NEAR EMERYVILLE, CALIF. (SatireWire.com) – Alarmed by “deplorable” conditions at swelling dot-com relocation camps, the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees today granted Official Refugee [Read More]

HEADHUNTING FIRM DECAPITATES 250

HEADHUNTING FIRM DECAPITATES 250

Peruvian Firm Takes Their Cut Off the Top ICUPIRA, PERU (SatireWire.com) – GreatHeadHunters.com, which has decapitated more than 250 corporate executives in the past three months, has run afoul of U.S. authorities, who claim the Peruvian-based [Read More]

IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED, POINT THAT OUT

IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED, POINT THAT OUT

“A fired dot-com worker can be an asset. Workers are even more hirable after having worked in a firm that struggled or did not make it. Prospective employers see it as a valuable learning experience.” – John Challenger, CEO of consulting firm Challenger, [Read More]

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Latest Topics

PUTIN-OBAMA MEMES

PUTIN-OBAMA MEMES

(SatireWire.com) After doing his part to swing the U.S. election for Donald Trump, Russian President Vladimir Putin has [Read More]

TRUMP APPOINTS ANGRY, RACIST COFFEE MUG TO TRANSITION TEAM

TRUMP APPOINTS ANGRY, RACIST COFFEE MUG TO TRANSITION TEAM

NEW YORK, NY (SatireWire.com) - In the latest staff shakeup, President-elect Donald Trump today reportedly replaced key [Read More]

ELECTION CHANGES POLITICAL LANDSCAPE INSIDE MARRIAGE

ELECTION CHANGES POLITICAL LANDSCAPE INSIDE MARRIAGE

RICHMOND, VA – Donald Trump’s shock election has dramatically shifted the political landscape in the home of [Read More]

AMERICANS DESPERATELY TRYING TO REMEMBER ELECTION SAFE WORD

AMERICANS DESPERATELY TRYING TO REMEMBER ELECTION SAFE WORD

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Pushed to the limits of pain by an election that was initially entertaining but [Read More]

PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: THE BRUTALLY IMPARTIAL UPDATE

PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: THE BRUTALLY IMPARTIAL UPDATE

MANCHESTER, N.H. (SatireWire.com) – The presidential candidates spread out across New Hampshire today after Texas [Read More]

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