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GOD TAKES STAKE IN FORD

GOD TAKES STAKE IN FORD

Analysts Quickly Up Earnings Estimates DEARBORN, MICH. (SatireWire.com) – Ford’s stock quadrupled yesterday after the automotive giant announced it agreed to sell 20 percent of the company to the Lord God Almighty, who analysts expect will take a hard stance [Read More]

MOSKOWITZS AGAIN TOP SALARY SURVEY

MOSKOWITZS AGAIN TOP SALARY SURVEY

‘Robert Moskowitz’ now 4th Most Popular Name for Newborns DENVER, COL. (SatireWire.com) - The average salary for people named Robert Moskowitz continues to outpace the per capita income of the average American, according to the 3rd annual Robert Moskowitz Salary [Read More]

EUROPE NOT USED TO NOT BEING IGNORED

EUROPE NOT USED TO NOT BEING IGNORED

G.E.’s Acquiescence Threatens Delicate Balance of Transatlantic Mutual Disdain The Hague (SatireWire.com) – Europe and the U.S. are said to be furious with General Electric after the American firm hinted it may actually succumb to European pressure and cancel [Read More]

SOMEDAY, WE’LL ALL LOOK BACK ON THIS AND LAUGH IN A DERISIVELY BITTER, DISILLUSIONED WAY

SOMEDAY, WE’LL ALL LOOK BACK ON THIS AND LAUGH IN A DERISIVELY BITTER, DISILLUSIONED WAY

Sardonic, Resentful Laughter Awaits Dotcommers Who Let Go Anger, Says Report Palo Alto, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – Whether you’ve lost your job at a dotcom or your money investing in one,  business psychologists at Stanford University say most people will not only [Read More]

YOUR BOSS, A HOOKER, AND A CAMERA

YOUR BOSS, A HOOKER, AND A CAMERA

Minneapolis, Minn. (SatireWire.com) - When the economy loses altitude and companies shed weight to stay aloft, employees the world over live in constant fear of layoffs. But according to job placement experts, sometimes job security can be as simple your boss, a hooker, and [Read More]

EXECUTIVE ROAD TRIP: MY NIGHT WITH BILL GATES

EXECUTIVE ROAD TRIP: MY NIGHT WITH BILL GATES

SatireWire’s Andy Marlatt Tours the Capital with The Man (or Boy?) from Redmond WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Bill Gates and I drive along E Street in my rented Corolla, past renovated apartment buildings and upscale shops sandwiched between old government [Read More]

DOT-COM REFUGEES: LIFE IN CAMP ALPHA

DOT-COM REFUGEES: LIFE IN CAMP ALPHA

Hope Dwindles for Thousands; Kozmo.com Gang Doing OK Since the fall of Internet stocks began in April, former dot-com employees, forced from their jobs, have made their way to Dot-Camp Alpha, a makeshift settlement on a barren hillside in Silicon Valley. Despite its lack of [Read More]

FIRED DOT-COM WORKERS GRANTED REFUGEE STATUS

FIRED DOT-COM WORKERS GRANTED REFUGEE STATUS

U.N. to Provide Aid to Thousands Forced to Flee Their Jobs NEAR EMERYVILLE, CALIF. (SatireWire.com) – Alarmed by “deplorable” conditions at swelling dot-com relocation camps, the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees today granted Official Refugee [Read More]

HEADHUNTING FIRM DECAPITATES 250

HEADHUNTING FIRM DECAPITATES 250

Peruvian Firm Takes Their Cut Off the Top ICUPIRA, PERU (SatireWire.com) – GreatHeadHunters.com, which has decapitated more than 250 corporate executives in the past three months, has run afoul of U.S. authorities, who claim the Peruvian-based [Read More]

IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED, POINT THAT OUT

IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED, POINT THAT OUT

“A fired dot-com worker can be an asset. Workers are even more hirable after having worked in a firm that struggled or did not make it. Prospective employers see it as a valuable learning experience.” – John Challenger, CEO of consulting firm Challenger, [Read More]

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Latest Topics

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: REX TILLERSON SPOTTED IN ASIA!

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: REX TILLERSON SPOTTED IN ASIA!

TOKYO (SatireWire.com) – Reclusive CEO-turned-Secretary-of-State Rex Tillerson has been spotted in Asia cozying up [Read More]

CANCER ENDORSES REPUBLICAN HEALTHCARE PLAN

CANCER ENDORSES REPUBLICAN HEALTHCARE PLAN

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Republicans picked up a major endorsement today as the world’s leading patient-based health [Read More]

U.S. FISH & WILDLIFE SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING ABUSING ITS POWER

U.S. FISH & WILDLIFE SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING ABUSING ITS POWER

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Overlooked as scandals swirl around other agencies, the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service said today it [Read More]

SHEEPISH APPLE ADMITS IT CHARGES CHAFFETZ $10K/YR FOR HIS IPHONE

SHEEPISH APPLE ADMITS IT CHARGES CHAFFETZ $10K/YR FOR HIS IPHONE

CUPERTINO, CA (SatireWire.com) -- A contrite Apple Inc. today admitted it was to blame for the suggestion by Rep. Jason [Read More]

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