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ATONING FOR MISTAKES, ANDERSEN FINALLY DOES RIGHT THING, CHANGES COMPANY NAME

ATONING FOR MISTAKES, ANDERSEN FINALLY DOES RIGHT THING, CHANGES COMPANY NAME

“Those Guys Were a Disgrace. Thank God We’re Not Them,” Say Probitium Execs Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a strong sign that accounting firm Arthur Andersen finally understands the extent of the trouble it has caused and is willing to do [Read More]

SURPRISE SETTLEMENT EVENLY SPLITS MICROSOFT; ONE FIRM TO MAKE SOFTWARE, OTHER TO MAKE PATCHES

SURPRISE SETTLEMENT EVENLY SPLITS MICROSOFT; ONE FIRM TO MAKE SOFTWARE, OTHER TO MAKE PATCHES

Decision Keeps Redmond from Monopolizing Massive Microsoft Patch Industry Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – In a surprise settlement today with nine U.S. states, Microsoft agreed to be split into two independent companies – one that will continue to make [Read More]

ENRON CHAIRMAN QUITS TO JOIN NIGERIAN FIRM

ENRON CHAIRMAN QUITS TO JOIN NIGERIAN FIRM

“The Nigerian (or 419) Letter is one of the oldest and most widespread scams that has ever been perpetrated on the planet.” – U.S. Better Business Bureau “Enron … (was) possibly the greatest Ponzi scheme of all time.” – [Read More]

ENRON CEO KEN LAY’S NEWEST VENTURE

ENRON CEO KEN LAY’S NEWEST VENTURE

CLICK HERE TO READ RELATED NEWS STORY ______________________________________________________ ENERGY NATIONAL RESOURCE ORGANIZATION of NIGERIA URGENT BUSINESS PROPOSAL PERSONAL AND CONFIDENTIAL From: Mr. Chairman Kenneth Lay Office of E.N.R.O.N. Director Dear Sir/Madam, This [Read More]

ENRON ADMITS IT’S REALLY ARGENTINA

ENRON ADMITS IT’S REALLY ARGENTINA

Now Massive Ineptitude, Corruption Make More Sense, Analysts Say Houston, Texas (SatireWire.com) – Energy company Enron, which collapsed due to gross mismanagement and insurmountable debt, today confessed to what many observers had long suspected: it is actually [Read More]

CONGRESS FORBIDS ECONOMY TO RECOVER UNTIL CONGRESS PASSES BILL TO HELP ECONOMY RECOVER

CONGRESS FORBIDS ECONOMY TO RECOVER UNTIL CONGRESS PASSES BILL TO HELP ECONOMY RECOVER

“Mississippi Sen. Trent Lott, the Republican leader, said he thought that `we need to fish or cut bait (on a stimulus package) this coming week’ because there are indications the economy could be recovering.” – AP, Dec. 10, 2001 Partisan Bickering [Read More]

PHILIP MORRIS TO CHANGE NAME TO ALTRIA; LUNG CANCER TO CHANGE NAME TO PHILIP MORRIS

PHILIP MORRIS TO CHANGE NAME TO ALTRIA; LUNG CANCER TO CHANGE NAME TO PHILIP MORRIS

Rebranded Disease Gains Universal Negative Brand Imagery New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Just days after Philip Morris declared it will change its name to the Altria Group, lung cancer today announced it will change its name to Philip Morris. According to lung [Read More]

WITH MORE TIME TO SHOP, THE UNEMPLOYED SHOULD BOOST HOLIDAY SALES, SAYS GOVERNMENT

WITH MORE TIME TO SHOP, THE UNEMPLOYED SHOULD BOOST HOLIDAY SALES, SAYS GOVERNMENT

Bush Urges Unemployed to Be Patriotic, Stay Unemployed Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – A bleak jobless claims report released Thursday put the number of out of work Americans at its highest level in 19 years, but government economists quickly pointed to a [Read More]

JUSTICE TO BREAK UP APPLE FOR TURNING MICROSOFT INTO MONOPOLY

JUSTICE TO BREAK UP APPLE FOR TURNING MICROSOFT INTO MONOPOLY

Alternative OS Maker Used Anti-Competitive Practices Against Itself Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Microsoft and the U.S. Justice Department Friday announced a settlement in their landmark anti-trust case that calls for the break up of Apple Computer, as both sides [Read More]

SMALL INVESTORS URGED TO LEAVE PANIC TO PROFESSIONALS

SMALL INVESTORS URGED TO LEAVE PANIC TO PROFESSIONALS

“Market watchers blame much of last week’s sell-off on institutional investors. Some mutual fund managers are selling out to raise cash just in case more individual investors cash out in the future.” – Detroit Free Press, 9/22/01 “Last week, [Read More]

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Latest Topics

HOBBY LOBBY DECLARES MIDWEST ARTS & CRAFTS CALIPHATE

HOBBY LOBBY DECLARES MIDWEST ARTS & CRAFTS CALIPHATE

OKLAHOMA CITY (SatireWire.com) -- In a brutal and stunning offensive, thousands of Hobby Lobby employees and customers, [Read More]

FAKE DRUG COMPANIES RACING TO CREATE PHONY EBOLA VACCINE

FAKE DRUG COMPANIES RACING TO CREATE PHONY EBOLA VACCINE

NASHVILLE (SatireWire.com) -- With the world in a near-panic, fake pharmaceutical companies and Internet ‘medical [Read More]

SECRET SERVICE HEAD RESIGNS; OBAMA ‘PSYCHED’ TO SLEEP W/O GUN

SECRET SERVICE HEAD RESIGNS; OBAMA ‘PSYCHED’ TO SLEEP W/O GUN

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- President Obama accepted the resignation of Secret Service Director Julia Pierson [Read More]

SCOTS VOTE TO STAY IN UK; “YES” VOTERS TO BE HANGED AS REBELS

SCOTS VOTE TO STAY IN UK; “YES” VOTERS TO BE HANGED AS REBELS

LONDON (SatireWire.com) -- Declaring the rebels “will pay with their lives,” Queen Elizabeth II today revealed [Read More]

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

EDINBURGH (SatireWire.com) – The Lord God Almighty, executive producer of the long-running Life on Earth, has [Read More]

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