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FONDA PICKED UP

FONDA PICKED UP

Santa Clara, Cal. (Satirewire.com) – In its much-anticipated response to AOL’s buyout of both Time Warner and Ted Turner’s TBS, Yahoo announced this morning it will acquire actress Jane Fonda. AOL labeled the acquisition “sloppy seconds.” [Read More]

GERBIL CRUELTY DENIED

GERBIL CRUELTY DENIED

Kent, Conn. (Satirewire.com) – Online retailer Outpost.com, which last year ran controversial TV commercials showing gerbils being fired from a cannon, claimed today it never used actual gerbils. Instead, Outpost executives said, the company dressed week-old kittens [Read More]

OUR BOEING WHO ART IN HEAVEN

OUR BOEING WHO ART IN HEAVEN

Chicago (Satirewire.com) – United Airlines said it will fight a 9th District Appeals Court ruling yesterday that grants pilots and flight attendants the right to lead passengers in prayer during turbulence. Copyright © 2000-2009, SatireWire. [Read More]

INVESTORS QUESTION “ELVIS,” “DONALD DUCK,” “TUPAC” SIGNATURES ON CORPORATE OATHS

INVESTORS QUESTION “ELVIS,” “DONALD DUCK,” “TUPAC” SIGNATURES ON CORPORATE OATHS

CEOs Blame Rush to File for Accidentally Signing Wrong Names New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – While the SEC and President Bush lauded corporate executives for certifying their financial statements, investor groups poring over the pledges since the Wednesday deadline [Read More]

YOU’LL HAVE TO GO

YOU’LL HAVE TO GO

“US Jobless Claims Hit 19-Year High” – Financial Times, May 30, 2002 “US Productivity Rate Best in 19 Years” – AP, May 31, 2002 Productivity and Unemployment Both Going Up, So… Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – With the [Read More]

TYPO CAUSES HP AND COMPAQ TO MERDE

TYPO CAUSES HP AND COMPAQ TO MERDE

Mistake on Proxy Ballots Hits Wall Street Like Bomb Cupertino, Calif. (SatireWire.com) – Embarrassed company officials today revealed that a typographical error on the ballots used to cast votes in the proposed merger between Hewlett-Packard and Compaq Computer has [Read More]

AMERICANS OUTRAGED THAT CORPORATIONS CHEAT JUST LIKE THEY DO

AMERICANS OUTRAGED THAT CORPORATIONS CHEAT JUST LIKE THEY DO

“Companies Should Be More Honest,” Says Nation That Walks Away<br>Quickly If Inadvertently Given Too Much Change by Cashier New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – From Enron to Global Crossing, Andersen to AIG, allegations that U.S. corporations have been [Read More]

INVESTORS QUESTION “ELVIS,” “DONALD DUCK,” “TUPAC” SIGNATURES ON CORPORATE OATHS

INVESTORS QUESTION “ELVIS,” “DONALD DUCK,” “TUPAC” SIGNATURES ON CORPORATE OATHS

CEOs Blame Rush to File for Accidentally Signing Wrong Names New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – While the SEC and President Bush lauded corporate executives for certifying their financial statements, investor groups poring over the pledges since the Wednesday deadline [Read More]

BUSH VOWS CRACKDOWN ON CORPORATE CORRUPTION UNLESS IT HAPPENED IN 1990

BUSH VOWS CRACKDOWN ON CORPORATE CORRUPTION UNLESS IT HAPPENED IN 1990

“While a member of the board at Harken Energy (in 1990), Bush sold $848,560 in stock a few months before the company reported a $23 million loss.” – N.Y. Daily News, 7/9/02 Also Exempts Executives Whose Last Name Begins With “B” New York, N.Y. [Read More]

BRAWL ERUPTS AT WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM WEIGH-IN

BRAWL ERUPTS AT WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM WEIGH-IN

Gates Bites AOL Rival; Critics Call for End to “Weigh-In Circuses” New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – After a massive brawl involving hundreds of world leaders and business heavyweights, World Economic Forum organizers today said they may discontinue the [Read More]

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Latest Topics

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

BAGHDAD (SatireWire.com) – With the Middle East hopelessly fractured and America's allies increasingly [Read More]

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – Despite breaking industry records for safety recalls, General Motors this week announced [Read More]

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – General Motors today announced it will split into separate car-making and car-recalling [Read More]

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

NATAL, BRAZIL (SatireWire.com) -- After a third biting incident in four years, Uruguayan striker Luis Suarez will be [Read More]

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

PETERSBURG, KY (SatireWire.com) – Creationists using a deep-faith telescope said today they have discovered a galaxy [Read More]

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