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Taco Bell Chihuahua Fired; New Chalupa “Tastes Funny”

Taco Bell Chihuahua Fired; New Chalupa “Tastes Funny”

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – One week after falling sales caused Taco Bell to ditch its famous Chihuahua, the company unveiled a reformulated chalupa, described as a “crispy, flaky shell with sour cream, lettuce, tomatoes, and a new, tough-and-stringy meat [Read More]

Fired eBay Employees Auctioned Off

Fired eBay Employees Auctioned Off

San Jose, Cal. (SatireWire.com) – As part of the staff cuts it announced yesterday, online auction site eBay said it will not release its employees outright, but will auction them off individually. To increase interest in the employees, who will come from the [Read More]

Yahoo Beats Analysts’ Estimates, Dogs

Yahoo Beats Analysts’ Estimates, Dogs

San Diego, Cal. (SatireWire.com) - Internet giant Yahoo!, which this week soundly beat analysts’ estimates, reportedly wasn’t satisfied and beat analysts’ dogs as well. Some analysts even reported getting wedgies. Said a very sore PaineWebber analyst Scott [Read More]

Russian-Pizza Hut Rocket Explodes; Thin Crust Blamed

Russian-Pizza Hut Rocket Explodes; Thin Crust Blamed

Astana, Kazakhstan (SatireWire.com) – The Pizza Hut-sponsored Russian rocket carrying international space station equipment exploded while in orbit today, just days after its launch. Russian Space Agency officials immediately blamed the proton rocket’s [Read More]

Domino’s-Sponsored Rocket Late, Probably Cold

Domino’s-Sponsored Rocket Late, Probably Cold

Astana, Kazakhstan (SatireWire.com) – After yesterday’s explosion of the Russian rocket sponsored by Pizza Hut, (see story), the Russian Space Agency this morning launched its backup rocket, sponsored by Dominoes, but the vehicle and its pilot, 17-year-old high [Read More]

Greenspan “I’m More Popular Than Jesus”

Greenspan “I’m More Popular Than Jesus”

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) — Federal Reserve Board Chairman Alan Greenspan, who told a London Evening Standard reporter last week he was “more popular than Jesus Christ,” apologized today to the world’s 600 million Roman Catholics, and asked [Read More]

Big Tobacco Can’t Afford Verdict; Smokers Must Buy More Cigarettes

Big Tobacco Can’t Afford Verdict; Smokers Must Buy More Cigarettes

Miami, Fla. (SatireWire.com) - Tobacco companies insisted today the record $145 billion verdict against them will bankrupt the industry, but victorious plaintiffs refused to let the enemy off the hook and declared they will buy more cigarettes to keep the defendants in [Read More]

Airlines Drop Arrival, Departure Times

Airlines Drop Arrival, Departure Times

Newark, N.J. (SatireWire.com) – Responding to a dramatic rise in complaints over flight delays, several major airlines announced today they will no longer attach “stress-inducing” numbers to arrival and departure times, but will instead use a variety of [Read More]

CDNow Wins Patent for Loss-Based Revenue Model

CDNow Wins Patent for Loss-Based Revenue Model

Fort Washington, Pa. (SatireWire.com) – Online music seller CDNow, desperately in need of cash, may have staved off its demise by virtue of its recently awarded patent for “an Internet business model in which expenditures permanently exceed revenues.” [Read More]

DrKoop.com Ordered to Display Warning Label

DrKoop.com Ordered to Display Warning Label

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The Securities and Exchange Commission today declared troubled health site DrKoop.com a public finance hazard and ordered that it display a warning label alerting the public to the dangers of investing in the company. The label, a [Read More]

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Latest Topics

CHEVY COBALT: “I HAVE A DISABILITY, NOT A DEFECT”

CHEVY COBALT: “I HAVE A DISABILITY, NOT A DEFECT”

In the last several days I have been called everything from “flawed” to “tragically dangerous,” and it hurts. I [Read More]

SPOILER ALERT: UN REPORT RUINS END OF GLOBAL WARMING DRAMA

SPOILER ALERT: UN REPORT RUINS END OF GLOBAL WARMING DRAMA

NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) -- Global warming followers the world over were outraged today after the U.N. failed to [Read More]

INSIDE THE INSIDE THE INSIDE OF THE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS PROCESS

INSIDE THE INSIDE THE INSIDE OF THE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS PROCESS

“People think it’s some grand, mysterious process, but honestly it’s not,” says one Yale University admissions [Read More]

RUSSIA TO ANNEX ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.

RUSSIA TO ANNEX ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.

MOSCOW (SatireWire.com) -- After claiming the right to seize Crimea because of its Russian heritage, President Vladimir [Read More]

WORLD LEADERS STAND UP TO PUTIN IN THEIR MINDS

WORLD LEADERS STAND UP TO PUTIN IN THEIR MINDS

KIEV, UKRAINE (SatireWire.com) -- Leaders from Europe and the United States today declared time was up on Russian [Read More]

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