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IN THE LAIR OF GENITAL QAEDA: LIFE IN AN UNDERWEAR BOMBER CAMP

IN THE LAIR OF GENITAL QAEDA: LIFE IN AN UNDERWEAR BOMBER CAMP

YEMEN (SatireWire.com) -- The days are long, the training merciless, the mission terrifying. And in the end, if you’re very, very successful, your groin explodes. Such is the short, painful life of the underwear bomber. [Read More]

ROMNEY RACKING UP INDIFFERENDORSEMENTS

ROMNEY RACKING UP INDIFFERENDORSEMENTS

Rallying around Mitt Romney in much the same way suicide jumpers rally around the ground, Republican heavyweights have continued to endorse the “inevitable” GOP presidential candidate by using such superlatives as “yeah,” “(let’s) face it,” and “whatever." [Read More]

FLORIDA CLOSED FOR MENTAL REPAIRS

FLORIDA CLOSED FOR MENTAL REPAIRS

ORLANDO, FL (SatireWire.com) -- The state of Florida will be closed for mental repairs until further notice, the National Institutes of Health announced today. [Read More]

CONSERVATIVE ROMNEY PICKS MODERATE ROMNEY FOR V.P.

CONSERVATIVE ROMNEY PICKS MODERATE ROMNEY FOR V.P.

MADISON, WI. (SatireWire.com) -- In a move to “keep his enemies close” while also attracting independent voters, presumptive Republican presidential nominee Severely Conservative Mitt Romney today announced he will choose arch nemesis Moderate Mitt Romney as his running [Read More]

CHENEY’S HEART TO GET MEDAL FOR TRYING TO RID WORLD OF CHENEY

CHENEY’S HEART TO GET MEDAL FOR TRYING TO RID WORLD OF CHENEY

FALLS CHURCH, VA (SatireWire.com) — The original heart of former Vice President Dick Cheney will receive the nation’s highest honor – the Presidential Medal of Freedom – for its lifelong attempts to rid of the world of former Vice President Dick Cheney. The [Read More]

DISNEY CHARACTERS CAN LEGALLY BE SHOT UNDER FLORIDA LAW

DISNEY CHARACTERS CAN LEGALLY BE SHOT UNDER FLORIDA LAW

ORLANDO, FL (SatireWire.com) — A Florida court today ruled that under the state’s “Stand Your Ground” law, which allows people who feel threatened to use deadly force, the life-sized characters at Disney World can legally be shot because they’re frightening and [Read More]

AMERICANS TRYING HARD NOT TO PICTURE RUSH WATCHING SEX TAPES

AMERICANS TRYING HARD NOT TO PICTURE RUSH WATCHING SEX TAPES

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Rush Limbaugh’s assertion that a Georgetown University coed is a “slut” who should post her sex tapes online so he can watch has upset liberals and conservatives alike who really, really wish they didn’t now have a mental picture of Limbaugh [Read More]

ITALY TO HALT CRUISE SHIP PROGRAM IN RETURN FOR U.S. AID

ITALY TO HALT CRUISE SHIP PROGRAM IN RETURN FOR U.S. AID

ROME (SatireWire.com) – Moments after today’s announcement that North Korea will halt its nuclear program in exchange for 240,000 metric tons of food, Italy agreed to stop operating cruise ships in return for substantial U.S. aid. [Read More]

JOHN GLENN: ‘I CLAIMED PLANET EARTH FOR MYSELF WHILE ORBITING’

JOHN GLENN: ‘I CLAIMED PLANET EARTH FOR MYSELF WHILE ORBITING’

COLUMBUS, OHIO (SatireWire.com) -- Fifty years after becoming the first American to orbit Earth, John Glenn revealed today that while circling the globe on Feb. 20, 1962, he secretly laid claim to the entire planet, which he renamed, ‘Johnglenndia.' [Read More]

OBAMA CONDEMNED FOR SLEEPING LAST NIGHT

OBAMA CONDEMNED FOR SLEEPING LAST NIGHT

WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a gaffe that may cost Barack Obama the election, the White House today admitted the President slept last night, a revelation that outraged Republicans who questioned how anyone could sleep "while America suffers." [Read More]

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Latest Topics

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

BAGHDAD (SatireWire.com) – With the Middle East hopelessly fractured and America's allies increasingly [Read More]

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – Despite breaking industry records for safety recalls, General Motors this week announced [Read More]

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – General Motors today announced it will split into separate car-making and car-recalling [Read More]

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

NATAL, BRAZIL (SatireWire.com) -- After a third biting incident in four years, Uruguayan striker Luis Suarez will be [Read More]

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

PETERSBURG, KY (SatireWire.com) – Creationists using a deep-faith telescope said today they have discovered a galaxy [Read More]

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