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JESUS RETURNS, BEATLES REUNITE, A-BOMB DESTROYS CHINA, ISRAEL AND PALESTINE AT PEACE, MICROSOFT TAKES OVER INTERNET, BUT ALL ANYBODY WANTS TO TALK ABOUT IS THE STUPID ELECTION

JESUS RETURNS, BEATLES REUNITE, A-BOMB DESTROYS CHINA, ISRAEL AND PALESTINE AT PEACE, MICROSOFT TAKES OVER INTERNET, BUT ALL ANYBODY WANTS TO TALK ABOUT IS THE STUPID ELECTION

“Fine. We Give Up. We’ll Talk About the Election Too,” Says SatireWire Editor JERUSALEM, PALESTINE (SatireWire.com) – In a string of unprecedented events during the past several weeks, Jesus Christ returned to Earth, a massive atomic bomb killed 1 [Read More]

CONGRESS FORBIDS ECONOMY TO RECOVER UNTIL CONGRESS PASSES BILL TO HELP ECONOMY RECOVER

CONGRESS FORBIDS ECONOMY TO RECOVER UNTIL CONGRESS PASSES BILL TO HELP ECONOMY RECOVER

“Mississippi Sen. Trent Lott, the Republican leader, said he thought that `we need to fish or cut bait (on a stimulus package) this coming week’ because there are indications the economy could be recovering.” – AP, Dec. 10, 2001 Partisan Bickering [Read More]

REVOLUTION COMES AT INCONVENIENT TIME

REVOLUTION COMES AT INCONVENIENT TIME

Lack of Bourgeoisie Cooperation, Strong TV Lineup, Turn Back Universal Uprising Everywhere (SatireWire.com) – The long-awaited Revolution, when the oppressed and disenfranchised break the chains of economic servitude and social injustice and put the tyrants and [Read More]

MICROSOFT WILL ADMIT TO AFFAIR WITH LEWINSKY

MICROSOFT WILL ADMIT TO AFFAIR WITH LEWINSKY

Company, Like President, Indiscreet; Should Get Same Killer Deal, Says Ballmer Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) – Only hours after President Clinton struck a deal to avoid prosecution by admitting he lied in court about Monica Lewinsky, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer [Read More]

“HACKERS-FOR-NADER” DELIVER SURPRISE VICTORY

“HACKERS-FOR-NADER” DELIVER SURPRISE VICTORY

Group’s ‘Get Out and Change the Vote’ Campaign Influences Dozens of Races WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The Oval Office was snatched away from Al Gore and George W. Bush Wednesday when the International Brotherhood of Computer Hackers, urging [Read More]

SOUTH DAKOTA GOES DIGITAL

SOUTH DAKOTA GOES DIGITAL

PIERRE, S.D. (SatireWire.com) – As his first act in office, Gov. Jim Barksdale signed an executive order today renaming the state “E-Dakota.” The state’s 860,000 residents, as well as livestock, personal belongings, and public and private buildings, [Read More]

NEW GOVERNMENT PORTAL DESIGN LEAKED

NEW GOVERNMENT PORTAL DESIGN LEAKED

“A new computer system will offer one-stop shopping for online information about the federal government, President Clinton said Saturday. Logging on to one Web site, firstgov.gov, will yield links to all federal information available publicly over the Internet, [Read More]

BUSH TO GRADS: ‘I HAVE A GAS PROBLEM’

BUSH TO GRADS: ‘I HAVE A GAS PROBLEM’

President’s Attempt to Show Empathy Backfires, So to Speak New Haven, Conn. (SatireWire.com) – President George W. Bush made a less-than-stellar return to his alma mater Saturday, where his attempt to convince Yale University graduates that he truly shared their [Read More]

GOD NAMES NEXT “CHOSEN PEOPLE”; IT’S JEWS AGAIN

GOD NAMES NEXT “CHOSEN PEOPLE”; IT’S JEWS AGAIN

Jews, whose troubled, 10,000-year term as God's "chosen people" finally expired last night, woke up this morning to find that they had once again been hand-picked by the Almighty. Synagogues across the globe declared a day of mourning. [Read More]

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ALTERNATIVE PUERTO RICO THRIVING AFTER HURRICANE MARIA

ALTERNATIVE PUERTO RICO THRIVING AFTER HURRICANE MARIA

White House officials today said President Trump’s claim that his handling of Hurricane Maria was a “tremendous [Read More]

MORNING SHOW ‘FUCK NO, TALLAHASSEE’ TOPS TV RATINGS

MORNING SHOW ‘FUCK NO, TALLAHASSEE’ TOPS TV RATINGS

Just a month after changing its name from ‘Good Day, Tallahassee’ to ‘Fuck No, Tallahassee,’ WFPE’s early [Read More]

TRUMP TO KEEP FAMILIES TOGETHER, STACKED INTO BORDER WALL

TRUMP TO KEEP FAMILIES TOGETHER, STACKED INTO BORDER WALL

PRES. TRUMP: We’ll call ‘em cinderbacks. Or wetbricks. SESSIONS: We can poll the base to see which makes them [Read More]

TRUMP CANCELS 2018 MIDTERMS TO THWART RUSSIAN MEDDLING

TRUMP CANCELS 2018 MIDTERMS TO THWART RUSSIAN MEDDLING

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to keep Russia from interfering with democracy, the Trump administration today [Read More]

TRUMP WILL DEPLOY RUSSIAN TROOPS TO PURGE U.S. DEEP STATE

TRUMP WILL DEPLOY RUSSIAN TROOPS TO PURGE U.S. DEEP STATE

President Donald Trump today accepted an offer by Russian President Vladimir Putin to use “impartial” Russian [Read More]

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