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AD NETWORK RELENTS

New York, N.Y. (Satirewire.com) – Online advertising network DoubleClick, under fire from the New York state attorney general for its now-scrapped plan to personally identify Web surfers and their habits through its software, denied today it ever implemented the [Read More]

MORE DELAYS: IRAQ NOW SAYS U.S. MUST PUBLISH “INTENT TO ATTACK” NOTICE IN BAGHDAD PAPER

MORE DELAYS: IRAQ NOW SAYS U.S. MUST PUBLISH “INTENT TO ATTACK” NOTICE IN BAGHDAD PAPER

U.S. Also Needs Invasion, Demolition, Military Housing Permits Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Already frustrated by seemingly endless delays, U.S. officials today conceded a confusing knot of new Iraqi regulations that require “non-resident [Read More]

BILL ALLOWS PILOTS TO CARRY GUNS; NOW TWO THINGS IN COCKPIT WILL BE LOADED

BILL ALLOWS PILOTS TO CARRY GUNS; NOW TWO THINGS IN COCKPIT WILL BE LOADED

America West Crews Can Now Pop a Cap on a Cold One Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The U.S. House of Representatives this week overwhelmingly passed a bill allowing flight crews to carry guns aboard aircraft, a measure strongly supported by pilots, who boasted [Read More]

ONE NATION, (SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITIES AVAILABLE)

ONE NATION, (SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITIES AVAILABLE)

U.S. Drops God as Sponsor, Will Look Elsewhere San Francisco (SatireWire.com) – A U.S. federal appeals court ruled Wednesday that reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in public schools is unconstitutional because it contains the phrase “under God,” a decision [Read More]

OVEREAGER, CANADA SENDS SMOKESCREEN OVER U.S. BEFORE CANADIAN INVASION PLANS FINISHED

OVEREAGER, CANADA SENDS SMOKESCREEN OVER U.S. BEFORE CANADIAN INVASION PLANS FINISHED

“Propelled by strong winds from the north, the fires have created a plume of smoke from Michigan to Massachusetts that’s visible as far south as Washington, D.C.” – National Post, Canada, July 8, 2002 Canada Also Discloses It Has Invaded U.S. 113 [Read More]

BUSH LAYS OUT TOUGH TERMS FOR PALESTINE TO MAKE WORLD CUP BY 2006

BUSH LAYS OUT TOUGH TERMS FOR PALESTINE TO MAKE WORLD CUP BY 2006

Arab Neighbors Suddenly Opposed to New Country in Qualifying Rounds Kananaskis, Canada (SatireWire.com) – U.S. President George Bush today said Palestinians should elect new leaders and adopt sweeping reforms if they wish to establish an independent state that would [Read More]

TERRORISTS MARRYING FOREST SERVICE WORKERS

TERRORISTS MARRYING FOREST SERVICE WORKERS

“A U.S. Forest Service worker admitted sparking the biggest wildfire in Colorado history when she burned a letter from her estranged husband in the bone-dry Pike National Forest a week ago.” – Rocky Mountain News, June 17, 2002 “Incendiary [Read More]

GREENPEACE WILL NOW OPPOSE EVERYTHING

GREENPEACE WILL NOW OPPOSE EVERYTHING

Wendy Is Not a Dolphin, But Robert Is “It’s all bad, it all needs to stop,” said a Greenpeace spokesperson, who added the group will no longer send out action alerts calling for opposition to specific issues, but will instead issue daily alerts to all [Read More]

FBI ACCUSED OF PASSING SECRETS TO U.S.

FBI ACCUSED OF PASSING SECRETS TO U.S.

Information Could Haven Fallen into Wrong Hands, Such as FBI Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In an alarming breakdown of internal security, the U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation today was accused of passing classified, terrorism-related information to the [Read More]

AL-QAEDA LIBERALS DEMAND “LIFE IN PRISON TO THE WEST”

AL-QAEDA LIBERALS DEMAND “LIFE IN PRISON TO THE WEST”

Citing High Recidivism Rates, However, Conservatives Still Call for Death Hindu Kush, Pakistan (SatireWire.com) – Arguing the death penalty has not proven to be an effective deterrent, the staunchly liberal faction of the Al Qaeda terrorist network today urged the [Read More]

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Latest Topics

GOP APPROVES ABORTION IN DEMOCRATIC DISTRICTS

GOP APPROVES ABORTION IN DEMOCRATIC DISTRICTS

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- In what they called a historic compromise, Republicans in Congress today said they [Read More]

CONGRESSIONAL COAT-CHECK NOW ALSO ACCEPTING BALLS

CONGRESSIONAL COAT-CHECK NOW ALSO ACCEPTING BALLS

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The congressional cloakroom, where representatives and senators traditionally [Read More]

FENCE JUMPER ARRESTED TRYING TO BREAK OUT OF WHITE HOUSE

FENCE JUMPER ARRESTED TRYING TO BREAK OUT OF WHITE HOUSE

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- The U.S. Secret Service today apprehended a man they said was attempting to scale [Read More]

SATIREWIRE UNVEILS ‘TRUMP TRANSPOSED’ ON TWITTER

SATIREWIRE UNVEILS ‘TRUMP TRANSPOSED’ ON TWITTER

Exact anagrams of the daily tweets of Mr. Sudden Sad Trout Nipple… er… U.S. President Donald Trump. [Read More]

GROUNDHOG SEES HITLER’S SHADOW

GROUNDHOG SEES HITLER’S SHADOW

PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA (SatireWire.com) – In what many are taking as a bad omen, famed prognosticating groundhog [Read More]

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