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AL-QAEDA LIBERALS DEMAND “LIFE IN PRISON TO THE WEST”

AL-QAEDA LIBERALS DEMAND “LIFE IN PRISON TO THE WEST”

Citing High Recidivism Rates, However, Conservatives Still Call for Death Hindu Kush, Pakistan (SatireWire.com) – Arguing the death penalty has not proven to be an effective deterrent, the staunchly liberal faction of the Al Qaeda terrorist network today urged the [Read More]

WHITE HOUSE NOW ACCUSED OF SHARING TOO MUCH AFTER RUMSFELD’S “I’M SCARED SHITLESS” SPEECH

WHITE HOUSE NOW ACCUSED OF SHARING TOO MUCH AFTER RUMSFELD’S “I’M SCARED SHITLESS” SPEECH

White House Campaign to Scare Crap Out of Everyone Hits Home Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – While praising the Bush administration for its sudden willingness to share information on terror warnings, critics today suggested the White House had volunteered too much [Read More]

U.S., RUSSIA SIGN HISTORIC NUKE TREATY NEITHER SIDE PLANS TO ABIDE BY

U.S., RUSSIA SIGN HISTORIC NUKE TREATY  NEITHER SIDE PLANS TO ABIDE BY

Russia Can Include Warheads “It Can’t Find Just Now” in Cutbacks Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The United States and Russia Friday signed a treaty to dramatically reduce their nuclear arsenals, a pact observers hailed as one of the most [Read More]

ENERGY COMPROMISE CALLS FOR BURNING FOSSIL FUELS, ENVIRONMENTAL ACTIVISTS

ENERGY COMPROMISE CALLS FOR BURNING FOSSIL FUELS, ENVIRONMENTAL ACTIVISTS

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- In a compromise that calls for the left and right to work together, energy company executives today proposed burning both fossil fuels and environmental activists, who officials estimated may be able to provide 2 percent of the [Read More]

PENTAGON INSISTS REAL RATS NOT BEING USED

PENTAGON INSISTS REAL RATS NOT BEING USED

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Under withering fire from animal rights activists, who blasted the Pentagon's plan to fit live rats with electrodes so they could be steered toward hidden bombs or disaster victims, the U.S. Defense Department today promised that actual [Read More]

In Bed with Ned, Ted, W., and Ed

In Bed with Ned, Ted, W., and Ed

“Sometimes, when I sleep at night, I think of ‘Hop on Pop’” – George W. Bush, in a speech about childhood education, AP, April 2, 2002 George: Pat… Cat… Laura: George? George: Pat sat on cat. Laura: George honey? George: No Pat no! [Read More]

GEORGE BUSH IS PREGNANT

GEORGE BUSH IS PREGNANT

Erratic Policy Behavior Result of Massive Hormone Surge Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Though his fainting spell in early February induced a few knowing winks, President George Bush’s erratic foreign policy mood swings have forced the White House to [Read More]

RICH AWED BY POOR’S ABILITY TO LIVE LIKE THAT

RICH AWED BY POOR’S ABILITY TO LIVE LIKE THAT

“No Way We Could Do It,” Say Leaders of Wealthy Nations Monterrey, Mexico (SatireWire.com) – At a United Nations conference last week to address world poverty, dozens of leaders from the planet’s wealthiest nations concluded they were “totally [Read More]

CLOSED DISINFORMATION AGENCY CAN’T CONVINCE STAFF IT’S CLOSED

CLOSED DISINFORMATION AGENCY CAN’T CONVINCE STAFF IT’S CLOSED

“The Pentagon on Tuesday shut down its short-lived “strategic information” office after media reports suggested it might be used to spread disinformation abroad.” – Reuters, Feb. 26, 2002 “Right, Sure, We’re ‘Closed,’ [Read More]

HOW TO CHANGE A SPARE GOVERNMENT

HOW TO CHANGE A SPARE GOVERNMENT

“Activating a Cold War-era plan, President Bush has put in place a (100-person) “shadow government” working in secret bunkers outside Washington in case of a catastrophic attack.” — Reuters, March 1, 2002 Smaller U.S. Replacement Not [Read More]

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Latest Topics

SCOTS VOTE TO STAY IN UK; “YES” VOTERS TO BE HANGED AS REBELS

SCOTS VOTE TO STAY IN UK; “YES” VOTERS TO BE HANGED AS REBELS

LONDON (SatireWire.com) -- Declaring the rebels “will pay with their lives,” Queen Elizabeth II today revealed [Read More]

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

EDINBURGH (SatireWire.com) – The Lord God Almighty, executive producer of the long-running Life on Earth, has [Read More]

DAN AND BENJI, NOT GOD, WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

DAN AND BENJI, NOT GOD, WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

(SatireWire.com) -- In a surprising disclosure, God revealed this week that He does not determine what happens in human [Read More]

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

BAGHDAD (SatireWire.com) – With the Middle East hopelessly fractured and America's allies increasingly [Read More]

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – Despite breaking industry records for safety recalls, General Motors this week announced [Read More]

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