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DEMS CONCEDE GOP HAS MAJORITY MINORITY

DEMS CONCEDE GOP HAS MAJORITY MINORITY

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Now in control of only the White House, the Senate, the military, foreign policy, the U.S. Treasury, the Justice Department, homeland security, U.S. energy policy, and -- in cases of national emergency -- everything, Democrats on Capitol [Read More]

AMERICANS THROW OUT BUMS WHO THREW OUT BUMS WHO THREW OUT BUMS WHO THREW OUT BUMS

AMERICANS THROW OUT BUMS WHO THREW OUT BUMS WHO THREW OUT BUMS WHO THREW OUT BUMS

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- American voters sent a strong signal to Washington on Tuesday, overturning Congress and effectively “tossing out the bums” who, in 2006 and 2008, threw out the previous bums who, in 2000, threw out the previous bums who, in 1996, [Read More]

SOLDIERS HOARD GUNS, SHIPS IN FACE OF DEFENSE CUTS

SOLDIERS HOARD GUNS, SHIPS IN FACE OF DEFENSE CUTS

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) — Fear of massive defense budget cuts caused a panic on U.S. military bases around the globe today as soldiers, sailors and marines rushed to clear shelves of everything from howitzers to Knighthawk helicopters. “This isn’t looting, [Read More]

ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA, SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL

ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA, SYRIA  FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL

BEIJING (SatireWire.com) -- Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush [Read More]

KNIVES, TANKS, WHALES – AIRPORT SCREENERS NOW FAILING TO CATCH ANYTHING

KNIVES, TANKS, WHALES – AIRPORT SCREENERS NOW FAILING TO CATCH ANYTHING

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- In a troubling sign that investigators may be getting bored with their success smuggling guns and knives onto airplanes, the U.S. Department of Transportation today disclosed that its agents have recently cleared airport security [Read More]

STUDENTS DEMAND WARS IN EASIER-TO-FIND COUNTRIES

STUDENTS DEMAND WARS IN EASIER-TO-FIND COUNTRIES

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- A delegation of American high school students today demanded the United States stop waging war in obscure nations such as Afghanistan, Kuwait, and Bosnia-Herzegovina, and instead attack places they've actually heard of, such as France, [Read More]

AUSTRALIA GETS DRUNK, WAKES UP IN NORTH ATLANTIC

AUSTRALIA GETS DRUNK, WAKES UP IN NORTH ATLANTIC

Sydney, 800 miles S. of Nova Scotia (SatireWire.com) - After what witnesses described as an all night blinder during which it kept droning on about how it was always being bloody ignored by the whole bloody world and would bloody well stand to do something about it, [Read More]

ACLU TAKES OVER TERROR INVESTIGATION, WILL FOCUS ATTENTION ON NO ONE IN PARTICULAR

ACLU TAKES OVER TERROR INVESTIGATION, WILL FOCUS ATTENTION ON NO ONE IN PARTICULAR

“We Must Ask Nebraskans, Not Just Middle Easterners, What They Know” Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Sensitive to accusations of profiling specific groups, the Justice Department today announced that the American Civil Liberties Union has taken over [Read More]

U.N. SETS “GLOBAL MARCH MADNESS” FIELD

U.N. SETS “GLOBAL MARCH MADNESS” FIELD

Selection Committee Gives U.S., China No. 1 seeds; Iraq a No. 3 in Mideast New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) Update – “March Madness,” the sobriquet of America’s NCAA college basketball tournament, has spilled over to the international arena, as the [Read More]

TORMENTED BY NEW U.N. CLASSMATES, SWITZERLAND ALREADY WANTS TO GO HOME

TORMENTED BY NEW U.N. CLASSMATES, SWITZERLAND ALREADY WANTS TO GO HOME

“The Swiss voted Sunday to join the United Nations, moving their country warily but decisively closer to the international community after centuries of neutrality and independence.” – L.A. Times, March 4 “Everybody’s Mean to Me, and the Food [Read More]

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Latest Topics

FAKE DRUG COMPANIES RACING TO CREATE PHONY EBOLA VACCINE

FAKE DRUG COMPANIES RACING TO CREATE PHONY EBOLA VACCINE

NASHVILLE (SatireWire.com) -- With the world in a near-panic, fake pharmaceutical companies and Internet ‘medical [Read More]

SECRET SERVICE HEAD RESIGNS; OBAMA ‘PSYCHED’ TO SLEEP W/O GUN

SECRET SERVICE HEAD RESIGNS; OBAMA ‘PSYCHED’ TO SLEEP W/O GUN

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- President Obama accepted the resignation of Secret Service Director Julia Pierson [Read More]

SCOTS VOTE TO STAY IN UK; “YES” VOTERS TO BE HANGED AS REBELS

SCOTS VOTE TO STAY IN UK; “YES” VOTERS TO BE HANGED AS REBELS

LONDON (SatireWire.com) -- Declaring the rebels “will pay with their lives,” Queen Elizabeth II today revealed [Read More]

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

EDINBURGH (SatireWire.com) – The Lord God Almighty, executive producer of the long-running Life on Earth, has [Read More]

DAN AND BENJI, NOT GOD, WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

DAN AND BENJI, NOT GOD, WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

(SatireWire.com) -- In a surprising disclosure, God revealed this week that He does not determine what happens in human [Read More]

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