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PERRY TRIUMPHANTLY LISTS ALL 3 REASONS HE DROPPED OUT

PERRY TRIUMPHANTLY LISTS ALL 3 REASONS HE DROPPED OUT

COLUMBIA, S.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Serial forgetter Rick Perry declared victory today after successfully being able to remember all three reasons he dropped out of the GOP presidential race. [Read More]

JOBS CONVINCES GOD TO FOCUS ON END USER; LIFE TO IMPROVE

JOBS CONVINCES GOD TO FOCUS ON END USER; LIFE TO IMPROVE

CUPERTINO, CAL (SatireWire.com) – After just three months together, the late Steve Jobs has convinced God to focus on customer experience rather than divine adoration, a remarkable shift in deific direction that should see life improve dramatically for Earth’s 7 billion [Read More]

ANGRY, CAUSTIC GINGRICH FAULTS NEW POSITIVE GINGRICH

ANGRY, CAUSTIC GINGRICH FAULTS NEW POSITIVE GINGRICH

DES MOINES, IOWA (SatireWire.com) -- An angry, caustic Newt Gingrich today blamed his poor showing in the Iowa caucuses on the happy, positive Newt Gingrich that tried to win without going negative, and pledged to go on the offensive to stop his internal rival from [Read More]

CAPTURED U.S. DRONE CONVERTS TO ISLAM

CAPTURED U.S. DRONE CONVERTS TO ISLAM

TEHRAN (SatireWire.com) – The U.S. drone captured by Iran earlier this month has converted to Islam, dashing American hopes to retrieve the unmanned aircraft. [Read More]

NATION’S TOP 1% AGREE TO TAX HIKE IN EXCHANGE FOR OTHER 99%

NATION’S TOP 1% AGREE TO TAX HIKE IN EXCHANGE FOR OTHER 99%

NEW YORK (SatireWire.com) – In a compromise to break government deadlock, the nation’s wealthiest 1 percent today agreed to allow their taxes to rise in exchange for the other 99 percent. The bargain, worked out last night during an invitation-only teleconference among [Read More]

HERMAN CAIN INVITES BACHMANN TO REACH OUT FOR HIS BASE

HERMAN CAIN INVITES BACHMANN TO REACH OUT FOR HIS BASE

WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) — Hearing that Michele Bachmann wants his support for the job she seeks, former presidential candidate Herman Cain said he has invited the Minnesota congresswoman to meet with him in his car on a secluded street on the outskirts of [Read More]

HURRICANE IRENE UNHAPPY WITH PATH THROUGH LIFE

HURRICANE IRENE UNHAPPY WITH PATH THROUGH LIFE

MIAMI, FL (SatireWire.com) -- Hurricane Irene, barreling toward the U.S. East Coast, said today it is very unhappy with its projected path and would like to chart its own course through life that would include college, a good job, and possibly a family. [Read More]

STUDY: 81% OF OUR CHILDREN’S CHILDREN WILL HATE US

STUDY: 81% OF OUR CHILDREN’S CHILDREN WILL HATE US

LONDON (SatireWire.com) -- An unsettling new study by the London School of Economics projects that 81 percent of our children's children will not only suffer for our inadequacies, but will look back on this generation and hate its fucking guts. [Read More]

GOP TO RELEASE REBUTTAL BIN LADEN MOVIE

GOP TO RELEASE REBUTTAL BIN LADEN MOVIE

WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Angered that a movie about the death of Osama bin Laden will debut just before the 2012 election, Republicans today said they will release a rebuttal film that “accurately portrays” how the terrorist leader was killed by low taxes, [Read More]

CONGRESS SAVES BABY IT THREW OUT WINDOW

CONGRESS SAVES BABY IT THREW OUT WINDOW

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a deal that left neither side entirely happy, Congress today voted to save the baby it had earlier thrown out the window. [Read More]

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Latest Topics

TRUMP TO KEEP FAMILIES TOGETHER, STACKED INTO BORDER WALL

TRUMP TO KEEP FAMILIES TOGETHER, STACKED INTO BORDER WALL

PRES. TRUMP: We’ll call ‘em cinderbacks. Or wetbricks. SESSIONS: We can poll the base to see which makes them [Read More]

TRUMP CANCELS 2018 MIDTERMS TO THWART RUSSIAN MEDDLING

TRUMP CANCELS 2018 MIDTERMS TO THWART RUSSIAN MEDDLING

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to keep Russia from interfering with democracy, the Trump administration today [Read More]

TRUMP WILL DEPLOY RUSSIAN TROOPS TO PURGE U.S. DEEP STATE

TRUMP WILL DEPLOY RUSSIAN TROOPS TO PURGE U.S. DEEP STATE

President Donald Trump today accepted an offer by Russian President Vladimir Putin to use “impartial” Russian [Read More]

GOP MAY RECONSIDER PLAN TO RUN SLATE OF RACIST PEDOPHILES IN ’18

GOP MAY RECONSIDER PLAN TO RUN SLATE OF RACIST PEDOPHILES IN ’18

BIRMINGHAM, AL - Following Roy Moore’s surprise loss to Democrat Doug Jones in the Alabama Senate race Tuesday, the [Read More]

For White Men to Survive, We Need to Start Acting Like Prey

For White Men to Survive, We Need to Start Acting Like Prey

In order to survive, we straight, white, Christian males need to stop acting like predators and begin acting like prey. [Read More]

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