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ASSANGE REGRETS LEAKING PRISON BREAKOUT PLAN

ASSANGE REGRETS LEAKING PRISON BREAKOUT PLAN

LONDON (SatireWire.com) – WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange was in the hospital wing of Wandsworth Prison today after being unable to keep himself from divulging details of a planned breakout by fellow inmates. [Read More]

‘ISH’ FROM ENGLISH SECRETLY REPLACED BY ‘ISH’ FROM SPANISH

‘ISH’ FROM ENGLISH SECRETLY REPLACED BY ‘ISH’ FROM SPANISH

PHOENIX, AZ (SatireWire.com) -- The ‘ish’ in the word English has been secretly replaced by the ‘ish’ from the word Spanish, according to anti-immigration groups who claim it is part of the “relentless campaign to de-Anglicize America.” [Read More]

ELATED MCCAIN KISSES GENERALS AFTER TESTIMONY

ELATED MCCAIN KISSES GENERALS AFTER TESTIMONY

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Three of the four U.S. armed service chiefs told lawmakers Friday they opposed an immediate repeal of ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell,’ but their testimony was cut short when repeal opponent Sen. John McCain, seemingly overjoyed with their [Read More]

CONGRESS VOTES TO GO FUCK ITSELF

CONGRESS VOTES TO GO FUCK ITSELF

WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a historic sign that Washington finally understands what the American people want, Congress today voted to go fuck itself. [Read More]

WIKILEAKS: GITMO PRISONERS “THE NEW BLACK”

WIKILEAKS: GITMO PRISONERS “THE NEW BLACK”

BRUSSELS (SatireWire.com) – In order to coerce a reluctant and image-starved Belgium into taking a Guantanamo Bay detainee, the U.S. pledged the tiny nation friendship, popularity, and a cool second name, according to this classified embassy cable. [Read More]

TSA: PASSENGERS CAN PUT GENITALIA IN LUGGAGE

TSA: PASSENGERS CAN PUT GENITALIA IN LUGGAGE

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Hoping to show it finally understands the problem, the TSA said today passengers sensitive to enhanced pat-downs will be allowed to put their genitals in checked luggage or carry on bags, which are scanned separately. [Read More]

CONGRESS VOWS TO INCREASE AMERICA’S PAIN

CONGRESS VOWS TO INCREASE AMERICA’S PAIN

WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) - With economists and the media clamoring for immediate and painful deficit solutions, Congress today suggested that Americans stick forks in their eyes and rip out their own fingernails. [Read More]

N. KOREA WARNED WITH RANDOM U.S. MISSILES

N. KOREA WARNED WITH RANDOM U.S. MISSILES

SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA (SatireWire.com) -- In an unusually provocative and candid speech, President Barack Obama today demanded that North Korea abandon its nuclear program, warning the secretive nation, “Don’t fuck with us. We have missiles and shit that just go off on [Read More]

AMERICANS NOT SURE THEY HAVE ENOUGH EXTRA HATE TO DEAL WITH BUSH JUST NOW

AMERICANS NOT SURE THEY HAVE ENOUGH EXTRA HATE TO DEAL WITH BUSH JUST NOW

NEW YORK (SatireWire.com) -- George W. Bush has resurfaced to promote his new book “Decision Points,” but Americans say their hatred for political parties, the media, Wall Street, BP, the economy, tax cuts, Lady Gaga, and Newt Gingrich has left them with no room to get [Read More]

PALIN. 2012. COINCIDENCE?

PALIN. 2012. COINCIDENCE?

ANCHORAGE, AK (SatireWire.com) -- The possibility of a President Palin is gaining traction after a strong Tea Party showing on Tuesday, and the sudden realization that the next presidential election will occur just weeks before the world ends anyway, on Dec. 21, 2012. [Read More]

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Latest Topics

FAKE DRUG COMPANIES RACING TO CREATE PHONY EBOLA VACCINE

FAKE DRUG COMPANIES RACING TO CREATE PHONY EBOLA VACCINE

NASHVILLE (SatireWire.com) -- With the world in a near-panic, fake pharmaceutical companies and Internet ‘medical [Read More]

SECRET SERVICE HEAD RESIGNS; OBAMA ‘PSYCHED’ TO SLEEP W/O GUN

SECRET SERVICE HEAD RESIGNS; OBAMA ‘PSYCHED’ TO SLEEP W/O GUN

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- President Obama accepted the resignation of Secret Service Director Julia Pierson [Read More]

SCOTS VOTE TO STAY IN UK; “YES” VOTERS TO BE HANGED AS REBELS

SCOTS VOTE TO STAY IN UK; “YES” VOTERS TO BE HANGED AS REBELS

LONDON (SatireWire.com) -- Declaring the rebels “will pay with their lives,” Queen Elizabeth II today revealed [Read More]

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

EDINBURGH (SatireWire.com) – The Lord God Almighty, executive producer of the long-running Life on Earth, has [Read More]

DAN AND BENJI, NOT GOD, WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

DAN AND BENJI, NOT GOD, WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

(SatireWire.com) -- In a surprising disclosure, God revealed this week that He does not determine what happens in human [Read More]

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