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CONTROLLERS: ‘PILOTS PUT US TO SLEEP’

CONTROLLERS: ‘PILOTS PUT US TO SLEEP’

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Beleaguered air traffic controllers went on the offensive today, accusing pilots of purposely putting them to sleep by constantly speaking in that low-level, monotone mumble. [Read More]

HEROIC OIL COMPANIES OFFER TO FLY LIBYAN OIL TO SAFETY

HEROIC OIL COMPANIES OFFER TO FLY LIBYAN OIL TO SAFETY

TRIPOLI (SatireWire.com) – As chaos mounts in Libya, concerned petroleum firms across the globe have made a courageous pledge to fly all of Libya’s oil to safety. [Read More]

CHARLIE SHEEN TO HELP ARABS TAKE FREEDOM TO ‘NEXT LEVEL’

CHARLIE SHEEN TO HELP ARABS TAKE FREEDOM TO ‘NEXT LEVEL’

CAIRO (SatireWire.com) – Pledging to help the Arab world take freedom “to the next level,” actor Charlie Sheen flew to the Middle East today with 650 tons of cocaine and 4,000 hookers. [Read More]

‘SNOW BLOWERS’ – SUBURBAN GANGS ADD NEW THREAT TO WINTER

‘SNOW BLOWERS’ – SUBURBAN GANGS ADD NEW THREAT TO WINTER

HAMDEN, CT (SatireWire.com) – For 33-year-old Kevin Embree, it was the moment he realized his quiet Connecticut neighborhood was out of control. “I’m shoveling my driveway on Tuesday,” he recalled, “and five of my neighbors, pushing snow blowers, come up to me, [Read More]

BIPARTISAN DATES: THE MORNING AFTER

BIPARTISAN DATES: THE MORNING AFTER

WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) – They went together, as bipartisan dates, to President Obama’s State of the Union address. It didn’t always work out, but at least one happy pair saw the sunrise together. We sat down with nine couples on the morning after. [Read More]

U.S. TO SELL OFF UNDERPERFORMING STATES

U.S. TO SELL OFF UNDERPERFORMING STATES

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Yielding to economic pressure, the U.S. will sell off 11 underperforming states by the end of the year, the White House announced today. [Read More]

U.S. APOLOGIZES FOR BIDEN’S ‘HU’S ON FIRST’ ROUTINE

U.S. APOLOGIZES FOR BIDEN’S ‘HU’S ON FIRST’ ROUTINE

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The United States formally apologized to China today for the behavior of Vice President Joe Biden, who spent nearly an hour prior to Wednesday's state dinner trying to make President Hu Jintao take part in a “Hu’s on first” [Read More]

ARIZONA ACCUSED OF ‘TRAGEDIZING’ POLITICS

ARIZONA ACCUSED OF ‘TRAGEDIZING’ POLITICS

TUCSON, AZ (SatireWire.com) -- Accusing the Arizona shootings of callously "tragedizing" politics, hundreds of media pundits gathered in this stricken city today in a vigil for shallow partisanship and angry rhetoric, which they said have been victimized by the horrific [Read More]

U.S. TO FORGET AFGHANS AHEAD OF 2014 SCHEDULE

U.S. TO FORGET AFGHANS AHEAD OF 2014 SCHEDULE

KABUL, COUNTRY NEXT TO PAKISTAN (SatireWire.com) -- Vice President Joe Biden today vowed America will not repeat past mistakes by abandoning Afghanistan after U.S. troops leave, but will instead begin to forget about the country now, well ahead of the 2014 withdrawal. [Read More]

HOUSE TO READ ‘HARRY POTTER’ NEXT, THEN ‘VAGINA MONOLOGUES’

HOUSE TO READ ‘HARRY POTTER’ NEXT, THEN ‘VAGINA MONOLOGUES’

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Exhilarated and inspired after reading the U.S. Constitution aloud on Thursday, the House of Representatives voted to recite the full Harry Potter series next, followed by The Vagina Monologues. [Read More]

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Latest Topics

JOHN GLENN (RIP): ‘I CLAIMED EARTH FOR MYSELF WHILE ORBITING’

JOHN GLENN (RIP): ‘I CLAIMED EARTH FOR MYSELF WHILE ORBITING’

COLUMBUS, OHIO (SatireWire.com) -- Fifty years after becoming the first American to orbit Earth, John Glenn, who died [Read More]

PUTIN-OBAMA MEMES

PUTIN-OBAMA MEMES

(SatireWire.com) After doing his part to swing the U.S. election for Donald Trump, Russian President Vladimir Putin has [Read More]

TRUMP APPOINTS ANGRY, RACIST COFFEE MUG TO TRANSITION TEAM

TRUMP APPOINTS ANGRY, RACIST COFFEE MUG TO TRANSITION TEAM

NEW YORK, NY (SatireWire.com) - In the latest staff shakeup, President-elect Donald Trump today reportedly replaced key [Read More]

ELECTION CHANGES POLITICAL LANDSCAPE INSIDE MARRIAGE

ELECTION CHANGES POLITICAL LANDSCAPE INSIDE MARRIAGE

RICHMOND, VA – Donald Trump’s shock election has dramatically shifted the political landscape in the home of [Read More]

AMERICANS DESPERATELY TRYING TO REMEMBER ELECTION SAFE WORD

AMERICANS DESPERATELY TRYING TO REMEMBER ELECTION SAFE WORD

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Pushed to the limits of pain by an election that was initially entertaining but [Read More]

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