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ARIZONA ACCUSED OF ‘TRAGEDIZING’ POLITICS

ARIZONA ACCUSED OF ‘TRAGEDIZING’ POLITICS

TUCSON, AZ (SatireWire.com) -- Accusing the Arizona shootings of callously "tragedizing" politics, hundreds of media pundits gathered in this stricken city today in a vigil for shallow partisanship and angry rhetoric, which they said have been victimized by the horrific [Read More]

U.S. TO FORGET AFGHANS AHEAD OF 2014 SCHEDULE

U.S. TO FORGET AFGHANS AHEAD OF 2014 SCHEDULE

KABUL, COUNTRY NEXT TO PAKISTAN (SatireWire.com) -- Vice President Joe Biden today vowed America will not repeat past mistakes by abandoning Afghanistan after U.S. troops leave, but will instead begin to forget about the country now, well ahead of the 2014 withdrawal. [Read More]

HOUSE TO READ ‘HARRY POTTER’ NEXT, THEN ‘VAGINA MONOLOGUES’

HOUSE TO READ ‘HARRY POTTER’ NEXT, THEN ‘VAGINA MONOLOGUES’

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Exhilarated and inspired after reading the U.S. Constitution aloud on Thursday, the House of Representatives voted to recite the full Harry Potter series next, followed by The Vagina Monologues. [Read More]

OBAMA PANTSED

OBAMA PANTSED

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – President Obama was pantsed Tuesday by freshmen House Republicans as part of the time-honored scavenger hunt that marks the end of initiation week for new GOP representatives. [Read More]

NATION’S BIRDS GROUNDED AFTER CRASH

NATION’S BIRDS GROUNDED AFTER CRASH

BEEBE, ARK (SatireWire.com) -- The nation’s birds have been grounded pending an investigation into a massive blackbird crash in Arkansas over the weekend. [Read More]

WIKILEAKS RELEASES BOEHNER’S NETFLIX ACCOUNT

WIKILEAKS RELEASES BOEHNER’S NETFLIX ACCOUNT

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Just days after his tearful 60 Minutes interview, a visibly upset House Minority Leader John Boehner today announced WikiLeaks has published details of his private Netflix account showing “Terms of Endearment” has still not shipped, [Read More]

ASSANGE REGRETS LEAKING PRISON BREAKOUT PLAN

ASSANGE REGRETS LEAKING PRISON BREAKOUT PLAN

LONDON (SatireWire.com) – WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange was in the hospital wing of Wandsworth Prison today after being unable to keep himself from divulging details of a planned breakout by fellow inmates. [Read More]

‘ISH’ FROM ENGLISH SECRETLY REPLACED BY ‘ISH’ FROM SPANISH

‘ISH’ FROM ENGLISH SECRETLY REPLACED BY ‘ISH’ FROM SPANISH

PHOENIX, AZ (SatireWire.com) -- The ‘ish’ in the word English has been secretly replaced by the ‘ish’ from the word Spanish, according to anti-immigration groups who claim it is part of the “relentless campaign to de-Anglicize America.” [Read More]

ELATED MCCAIN KISSES GENERALS AFTER TESTIMONY

ELATED MCCAIN KISSES GENERALS AFTER TESTIMONY

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Three of the four U.S. armed service chiefs told lawmakers Friday they opposed an immediate repeal of ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell,’ but their testimony was cut short when repeal opponent Sen. John McCain, seemingly overjoyed with their [Read More]

CONGRESS VOTES TO GO FUCK ITSELF

CONGRESS VOTES TO GO FUCK ITSELF

WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a historic sign that Washington finally understands what the American people want, Congress today voted to go fuck itself. [Read More]

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Latest Topics

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

BAGHDAD (SatireWire.com) – With the Middle East hopelessly fractured and America's allies increasingly [Read More]

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – Despite breaking industry records for safety recalls, General Motors this week announced [Read More]

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – General Motors today announced it will split into separate car-making and car-recalling [Read More]

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

NATAL, BRAZIL (SatireWire.com) -- After a third biting incident in four years, Uruguayan striker Luis Suarez will be [Read More]

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

PETERSBURG, KY (SatireWire.com) – Creationists using a deep-faith telescope said today they have discovered a galaxy [Read More]

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