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JOBS CONVINCES GOD TO FOCUS ON END USER; LIFE TO IMPROVE

JOBS CONVINCES GOD TO FOCUS ON END USER; LIFE TO IMPROVE

CUPERTINO, CAL (SatireWire.com) – After just three months together, the late Steve Jobs has convinced God to focus on customer experience rather than divine adoration, a remarkable shift in deific direction that should see life improve dramatically for Earth’s 7 billion [Read More]

ANGRY, CAUSTIC GINGRICH FAULTS NEW POSITIVE GINGRICH

ANGRY, CAUSTIC GINGRICH FAULTS NEW POSITIVE GINGRICH

DES MOINES, IOWA (SatireWire.com) -- An angry, caustic Newt Gingrich today blamed his poor showing in the Iowa caucuses on the happy, positive Newt Gingrich that tried to win without going negative, and pledged to go on the offensive to stop his internal rival from [Read More]

CAPTURED U.S. DRONE CONVERTS TO ISLAM

CAPTURED U.S. DRONE CONVERTS TO ISLAM

TEHRAN (SatireWire.com) – The U.S. drone captured by Iran earlier this month has converted to Islam, dashing American hopes to retrieve the unmanned aircraft. [Read More]

NATION’S TOP 1% AGREE TO TAX HIKE IN EXCHANGE FOR OTHER 99%

NATION’S TOP 1% AGREE TO TAX HIKE IN EXCHANGE FOR OTHER 99%

NEW YORK (SatireWire.com) – In a compromise to break government deadlock, the nation’s wealthiest 1 percent today agreed to allow their taxes to rise in exchange for the other 99 percent. The bargain, worked out last night during an invitation-only teleconference among [Read More]

HERMAN CAIN INVITES BACHMANN TO REACH OUT FOR HIS BASE

HERMAN CAIN INVITES BACHMANN TO REACH OUT FOR HIS BASE

WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) — Hearing that Michele Bachmann wants his support for the job she seeks, former presidential candidate Herman Cain said he has invited the Minnesota congresswoman to meet with him in his car on a secluded street on the outskirts of [Read More]

HURRICANE IRENE UNHAPPY WITH PATH THROUGH LIFE

HURRICANE IRENE UNHAPPY WITH PATH THROUGH LIFE

MIAMI, FL (SatireWire.com) -- Hurricane Irene, barreling toward the U.S. East Coast, said today it is very unhappy with its projected path and would like to chart its own course through life that would include college, a good job, and possibly a family. [Read More]

STUDY: 81% OF OUR CHILDREN’S CHILDREN WILL HATE US

STUDY: 81% OF OUR CHILDREN’S CHILDREN WILL HATE US

LONDON (SatireWire.com) -- An unsettling new study by the London School of Economics projects that 81 percent of our children's children will not only suffer for our inadequacies, but will look back on this generation and hate its fucking guts. [Read More]

GOP TO RELEASE REBUTTAL BIN LADEN MOVIE

GOP TO RELEASE REBUTTAL BIN LADEN MOVIE

WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Angered that a movie about the death of Osama bin Laden will debut just before the 2012 election, Republicans today said they will release a rebuttal film that “accurately portrays” how the terrorist leader was killed by low taxes, [Read More]

CONGRESS SAVES BABY IT THREW OUT WINDOW

CONGRESS SAVES BABY IT THREW OUT WINDOW

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a deal that left neither side entirely happy, Congress today voted to save the baby it had earlier thrown out the window. [Read More]

GOP PLAN CUTS SOCIAL SECURITY, BUT DECLARES SENIORS ‘AMAZING’

GOP PLAN CUTS SOCIAL SECURITY, BUT DECLARES SENIORS ‘AMAZING’

WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In another attempt to slash the debt without alienating voters, Republicans today unveiled a proposal that cuts Social Security 50 percent but declares everyone over age 65 “amazing." [Read More]

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Latest Topics

TRUMP VOWS NOT TO DEPORT ILLEGALS WHO RATE 8+

TRUMP VOWS NOT TO DEPORT ILLEGALS WHO RATE 8+

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In what it called a "show of great compassion," the Trump administration today [Read More]

GOP APPROVES ABORTION IN DEMOCRATIC DISTRICTS

GOP APPROVES ABORTION IN DEMOCRATIC DISTRICTS

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- In what they called a historic compromise, Republicans in Congress today said they [Read More]

CONGRESSIONAL COAT-CHECK NOW ALSO ACCEPTING BALLS

CONGRESSIONAL COAT-CHECK NOW ALSO ACCEPTING BALLS

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – The congressional cloakroom, where representatives and senators traditionally [Read More]

FENCE JUMPER ARRESTED TRYING TO BREAK OUT OF WHITE HOUSE

FENCE JUMPER ARRESTED TRYING TO BREAK OUT OF WHITE HOUSE

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- The U.S. Secret Service today apprehended a man they said was attempting to scale [Read More]

SATIREWIRE UNVEILS ‘TRUMP TRANSPOSED’ ON TWITTER

SATIREWIRE UNVEILS ‘TRUMP TRANSPOSED’ ON TWITTER

Exact anagrams of the daily tweets of Mr. Sudden Sad Trout Nipple… er… U.S. President Donald Trump. [Read More]

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