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AMERICANS TRYING HARD NOT TO PICTURE RUSH WATCHING SEX TAPES

AMERICANS TRYING HARD NOT TO PICTURE RUSH WATCHING SEX TAPES

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Rush Limbaugh’s assertion that a Georgetown University coed is a “slut” who should post her sex tapes online so he can watch has upset liberals and conservatives alike who really, really wish they didn’t now have a mental picture of Limbaugh [Read More]

ITALY TO HALT CRUISE SHIP PROGRAM IN RETURN FOR U.S. AID

ITALY TO HALT CRUISE SHIP PROGRAM IN RETURN FOR U.S. AID

ROME (SatireWire.com) – Moments after today’s announcement that North Korea will halt its nuclear program in exchange for 240,000 metric tons of food, Italy agreed to stop operating cruise ships in return for substantial U.S. aid. [Read More]

JOHN GLENN: ‘I CLAIMED PLANET EARTH FOR MYSELF WHILE ORBITING’

JOHN GLENN: ‘I CLAIMED PLANET EARTH FOR MYSELF WHILE ORBITING’

COLUMBUS, OHIO (SatireWire.com) -- Fifty years after becoming the first American to orbit Earth, John Glenn revealed today that while circling the globe on Feb. 20, 1962, he secretly laid claim to the entire planet, which he renamed, ‘Johnglenndia.' [Read More]

OBAMA CONDEMNED FOR SLEEPING LAST NIGHT

OBAMA CONDEMNED FOR SLEEPING LAST NIGHT

WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a gaffe that may cost Barack Obama the election, the White House today admitted the President slept last night, a revelation that outraged Republicans who questioned how anyone could sleep "while America suffers." [Read More]

SYRIA CRISIS IMPELS U.N. MEMBERS TO CONSIDER SKIPPING LUNCH

SYRIA CRISIS IMPELS U.N. MEMBERS TO CONSIDER SKIPPING LUNCH

NEW YORK (SatireWire.com) -- As the Syrian crisis deepens amid daily attacks on innocent civilians, United Nations delegates today said they had no choice but to seriously consider skipping lunch one day this week to talk about it some more. [Read More]

OBAMA SERIOUSLY STARTING TO THINK GOP ISN’T EVEN TRYING

OBAMA SERIOUSLY STARTING TO THINK GOP ISN’T EVEN TRYING

WASHINGTON (SatireWire.com) – With yet another flawed front-runner taking the lead in a GOP campaign seemingly bent on self-destruction, President Obama today privately told friends he is starting to think the Republicans aren’t even trying. [Read More]

JFK DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH EVERYONE: REPORT

JFK DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH EVERYONE: REPORT

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- According to a new report, there were thousands -- and possibly millions – of young women in the United States that President John F. Kennedy did not have sex with. [Read More]

CAMPAIGN-BASED CONCUSSIONS ON THE RISE

CAMPAIGN-BASED CONCUSSIONS ON THE RISE

ATLANTA (SatireWire.com) -- Campaign-based concussions have risen 120 percent in the last month as voters across the country are repeatedly banging their heads in frustration against walls, countertops, or the nearest available hard object, the CDC reported today. [Read More]

TRANSCRIPT OF OBAMA-BREWER TARMAC TIFF RELEASED

TRANSCRIPT OF OBAMA-BREWER TARMAC TIFF RELEASED

PHOENIX, AZ (SatireWire.com) – Here is the complete transcript of the tarmac tiff between President Obama and Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer, whose clear disregard for one another boiled over during a heated and heretofore confidential meeting Wednesday as the President stepped [Read More]

SOLAR STORM SHUTS DOWN MITT ROMNEY

SOLAR STORM SHUTS DOWN MITT ROMNEY

JACKSONVILLE, FL (SatireWire.com) – The massive solar radiation storm that struck Earth yesterday disrupted radio communications, knocked out satellite and computer systems, and shut down Mitt Romney for more than six hours. [Read More]

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Latest Topics

FAKE DRUG COMPANIES RACING TO CREATE PHONY EBOLA VACCINE

FAKE DRUG COMPANIES RACING TO CREATE PHONY EBOLA VACCINE

NASHVILLE (SatireWire.com) -- With the world in a near-panic, fake pharmaceutical companies and Internet ‘medical [Read More]

SECRET SERVICE HEAD RESIGNS; OBAMA ‘PSYCHED’ TO SLEEP W/O GUN

SECRET SERVICE HEAD RESIGNS; OBAMA ‘PSYCHED’ TO SLEEP W/O GUN

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- President Obama accepted the resignation of Secret Service Director Julia Pierson [Read More]

SCOTS VOTE TO STAY IN UK; “YES” VOTERS TO BE HANGED AS REBELS

SCOTS VOTE TO STAY IN UK; “YES” VOTERS TO BE HANGED AS REBELS

LONDON (SatireWire.com) -- Declaring the rebels “will pay with their lives,” Queen Elizabeth II today revealed [Read More]

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

EDINBURGH (SatireWire.com) – The Lord God Almighty, executive producer of the long-running Life on Earth, has [Read More]

DAN AND BENJI, NOT GOD, WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

DAN AND BENJI, NOT GOD, WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

(SatireWire.com) -- In a surprising disclosure, God revealed this week that He does not determine what happens in human [Read More]

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