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JOHN GLENN: ‘I CLAIMED PLANET EARTH FOR MYSELF WHILE ORBITING’

JOHN GLENN: ‘I CLAIMED PLANET EARTH FOR MYSELF WHILE ORBITING’

COLUMBUS, OHIO (SatireWire.com) -- Fifty years after becoming the first American to orbit Earth, John Glenn revealed today that while circling the globe on Feb. 20, 1962, he secretly laid claim to the entire planet, which he renamed, ‘Johnglenndia.' [Read More]

OBAMA CONDEMNED FOR SLEEPING LAST NIGHT

OBAMA CONDEMNED FOR SLEEPING LAST NIGHT

WASHINGTON D.C. (SatireWire.com) – In a gaffe that may cost Barack Obama the election, the White House today admitted the President slept last night, a revelation that outraged Republicans who questioned how anyone could sleep "while America suffers." [Read More]

SYRIA CRISIS IMPELS U.N. MEMBERS TO CONSIDER SKIPPING LUNCH

SYRIA CRISIS IMPELS U.N. MEMBERS TO CONSIDER SKIPPING LUNCH

NEW YORK (SatireWire.com) -- As the Syrian crisis deepens amid daily attacks on innocent civilians, United Nations delegates today said they had no choice but to seriously consider skipping lunch one day this week to talk about it some more. [Read More]

OBAMA SERIOUSLY STARTING TO THINK GOP ISN’T EVEN TRYING

OBAMA SERIOUSLY STARTING TO THINK GOP ISN’T EVEN TRYING

WASHINGTON (SatireWire.com) – With yet another flawed front-runner taking the lead in a GOP campaign seemingly bent on self-destruction, President Obama today privately told friends he is starting to think the Republicans aren’t even trying. [Read More]

JFK DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH EVERYONE: REPORT

JFK DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH EVERYONE: REPORT

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- According to a new report, there were thousands -- and possibly millions – of young women in the United States that President John F. Kennedy did not have sex with. [Read More]

CAMPAIGN-BASED CONCUSSIONS ON THE RISE

CAMPAIGN-BASED CONCUSSIONS ON THE RISE

ATLANTA (SatireWire.com) -- Campaign-based concussions have risen 120 percent in the last month as voters across the country are repeatedly banging their heads in frustration against walls, countertops, or the nearest available hard object, the CDC reported today. [Read More]

TRANSCRIPT OF OBAMA-BREWER TARMAC TIFF RELEASED

TRANSCRIPT OF OBAMA-BREWER TARMAC TIFF RELEASED

PHOENIX, AZ (SatireWire.com) – Here is the complete transcript of the tarmac tiff between President Obama and Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer, whose clear disregard for one another boiled over during a heated and heretofore confidential meeting Wednesday as the President stepped [Read More]

SOLAR STORM SHUTS DOWN MITT ROMNEY

SOLAR STORM SHUTS DOWN MITT ROMNEY

JACKSONVILLE, FL (SatireWire.com) – The massive solar radiation storm that struck Earth yesterday disrupted radio communications, knocked out satellite and computer systems, and shut down Mitt Romney for more than six hours. [Read More]

GINGRICH RELEASES LAST 10 YEARS OF VALENTINE’S CARDS

GINGRICH RELEASES LAST 10 YEARS OF VALENTINE’S CARDS

TAMPA, FL (SatireWire.com) -- GOP hopeful Newt Gingrich sought to fend off attacks on his family values and marital infidelity today by releasing the last 10 years of his Valentine’s Day cards sent to current wife, Callista. [Read More]

PERRY TRIUMPHANTLY LISTS ALL 3 REASONS HE DROPPED OUT

PERRY TRIUMPHANTLY LISTS ALL 3 REASONS HE DROPPED OUT

COLUMBIA, S.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Serial forgetter Rick Perry declared victory today after successfully being able to remember all three reasons he dropped out of the GOP presidential race. [Read More]

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Latest Topics

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

GOD DEFENDS SCENES OF SEX, VIOLENCE IN LIFE ON EARTH

EDINBURGH (SatireWire.com) – The Lord God Almighty, executive producer of the long-running Life on Earth, has [Read More]

DAN AND BENJI, NOT GOD, WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

DAN AND BENJI, NOT GOD, WORK IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

(SatireWire.com) -- In a surprising disclosure, God revealed this week that He does not determine what happens in human [Read More]

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

U.S. TROOPS TO FIGHT EACH OTHER TILL MIDDLE EAST SORTS ITSELF OUT

BAGHDAD (SatireWire.com) – With the Middle East hopelessly fractured and America's allies increasingly [Read More]

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

STRONG SALES PROVE AMERICANS WOULD RATHER DIE IN A CHEVROLET

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – Despite breaking industry records for safety recalls, General Motors this week announced [Read More]

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

GM SPLITS INTO SEPARATE CAR-MAKING, CAR-RECALLING DIVISIONS

DETROIT (SatireWire.com) – General Motors today announced it will split into separate car-making and car-recalling [Read More]

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