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SO WHY DON’T YOU WANT TO EAT ME? by A HORSE

SO WHY DON’T YOU WANT TO EAT ME?   by A HORSE

(SatireWire.com) -- So, you people are outraged that horse meat is ending up in your precious cow meat. You’re furious. You’re disgusted. But hey, you know what else you are? You’re assholes. [Read More]

REPORTS POSTED ACROSS INTERNET PROVE CHINA INNOCENT OF HACKING

REPORTS POSTED ACROSS INTERNET PROVE CHINA INNOCENT OF HACKING

NEW YORK (SatireWire.com) -- The People’s Republic of China has never hacked into corporate computers or web sites and any claims to the contrary are completely false, according to a report posted online today by The New York Times and, simultaneously, NBC, CBS, ABC, the [Read More]

SLAP-A-TIKE DAY CARE CENTERS SUDDENLY UNDER SCRUTINY

SLAP-A-TIKE DAY CARE CENTERS SUDDENLY UNDER SCRUTINY

CHARLOTTE, NC (SatireWire.com) -- Public outrage over a 60-year-old man who allegedly slapped a toddler on a Delta flight has put Slap-a-Tike Day Care Centers on the defensive, with many wondering why the nationwide chain hasn’t raised red flags before. [Read More]

PEACE CORPS EXPANDS TO COVER SUDAN, ERITREA, CARNIVAL CRUISES

PEACE CORPS EXPANDS TO COVER SUDAN, ERITREA, CARNIVAL CRUISES

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- The Peace Corps today announced it will expand its third-world missions by regularly sending volunteers to Sudan, Eritrea, and Carnival Cruise Lines. [Read More]

STEVEN CHU SULKING OVER U.S. GOVT NOT GETTING WIPED OUT

STEVEN CHU SULKING OVER U.S. GOVT NOT GETTING WIPED OUT

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Sulking Energy Secretary Steven Chu, the cabinet member designated to sit out the State of the Union address in the event the entire U.S. leadership was killed, has been unable to hide his disappointment ever since the President returned [Read More]

BOEING INTRODUCES THE NEW 797 DREAMDRONE

BOEING INTRODUCES THE NEW 797 DREAMDRONE

CHICAGO (SatireWire.com) -- Targeting the growing drone market, Boeing today unveiled the 797 Dreamdrone, describing it as the largest, most comfortable and passenger-friendly unmanned aircraft ever made and not at all one of their defective 787 Dreamliners with the windows [Read More]

USPS WORKERS LOSE OPTION TO GO POSTAL ON SATURDAYS

USPS WORKERS LOSE OPTION TO GO POSTAL ON SATURDAYS

OLYMPIA, WA (SatireWire.com) -- The United States Postal Service’s decision to cease Saturday mail delivery was disappointing news to veteran letter carriers across the country who say they will now never get the opportunity to go postal on a weekend. [Read More]

“RICHARD III” UPDATED TO ACCOUNT FOR CAR PARK, TRAFFIC ISSUES

“RICHARD III” UPDATED TO ACCOUNT FOR CAR PARK, TRAFFIC ISSUES

LEICESTER, ENGLAND (SatireWire.com) – After learning that the remains of Richard III were found under a car park in Leicester, and not on Bosworth Field, Shakespeare scholars have moved quickly to update the classic tragedy to account for parking and traffic issues. Read [Read More]

NRA RESEARCH FINDS GUN CRIME RAMPANT BEFORE GUNS INVENTED

NRA RESEARCH FINDS GUN CRIME RAMPANT BEFORE GUNS INVENTED

FAIRFAX, VA (SatireWire.com) -- Expanding on their theory that more guns lead to less gun crime, and therefore fewer guns lead to more gun crime, NRA-backed researchers today said they have worked out that before guns were invented, everyone on the planet was killed by a [Read More]

PEOPLE GET FLU WAITING IN LINE FOR FLU SHOTS

PEOPLE GET FLU WAITING IN LINE FOR FLU SHOTS

BOSTON, MA (SatireWire.com) -- Americans crowding into hospitals, clinics and doctor’s offices to get flu shots are now the number one cause of the spread of the flu, according to the Centers for Disease Control. [Read More]

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Latest Topics

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: REX TILLERSON SPOTTED IN ASIA!

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: REX TILLERSON SPOTTED IN ASIA!

TOKYO (SatireWire.com) – Reclusive CEO-turned-Secretary-of-State Rex Tillerson has been spotted in Asia cozying up [Read More]

CANCER ENDORSES REPUBLICAN HEALTHCARE PLAN

CANCER ENDORSES REPUBLICAN HEALTHCARE PLAN

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Republicans picked up a major endorsement today as the world’s leading patient-based health [Read More]

U.S. FISH & WILDLIFE SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING ABUSING ITS POWER

U.S. FISH & WILDLIFE SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING ABUSING ITS POWER

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Overlooked as scandals swirl around other agencies, the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service said today it [Read More]

SHEEPISH APPLE ADMITS IT CHARGES CHAFFETZ $10K/YR FOR HIS IPHONE

SHEEPISH APPLE ADMITS IT CHARGES CHAFFETZ $10K/YR FOR HIS IPHONE

CUPERTINO, CA (SatireWire.com) -- A contrite Apple Inc. today admitted it was to blame for the suggestion by Rep. Jason [Read More]

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