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NORTH KOREA RUNS OUT OF THREATS

NORTH KOREA RUNS OUT OF THREATS

PYONGYANG (SatireWire.com) -- In this episode, All-Powerful Great Leader Kim Jong-un meets with the North Korean Threat and Provocation Committee, which has some bad news. [Read More]

CITY ALSO PASSES LAW REQUIRING RESIDENTS TO TALK ALL THE TIME

CITY ALSO PASSES LAW REQUIRING RESIDENTS TO TALK ALL THE TIME

NELSON, GA (SatireWire.com) -- One day after standing up for the Second Amendment by passing a law making gun ownership mandatory, the city of Nelson, Ga., today applied the same ironclad logic to First Amendment free speech and enacted a law requiring its 1,300 residents [Read More]

IF JESUS’ DISCIPLES WERE WASHINGTON POLITICIANS

IF JESUS’ DISCIPLES WERE WASHINGTON POLITICIANS

SERMON ON THE MOUNT (SatireWire.com) -- JESUS: Alright, you all have copies of my speech. Let’s start with my first Beatitude: ‘Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.’ Thoughts? JOHN: Just the poor get heaven? That’s class [Read More]

IN HIS HEAD, CLARENCE THOMAS PEPPERS LAWYERS WITH QUESTIONS

IN HIS HEAD, CLARENCE THOMAS PEPPERS LAWYERS WITH QUESTIONS

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – At a landmark hearing today on gay rights, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas peppered attorneys with an hour-long barrage of incisive and often brilliant questions in his mind that left spectators and court officials in his head [Read More]

LAPIERRE SURPRISES CPAC CROWD WITH NEW GUNS UNDER SEATS

LAPIERRE SURPRISES CPAC CROWD WITH NEW GUNS UNDER SEATS

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- NRA chief executive Wayne LaPierre ended a rousing anti-gun-control speech at CPAC Friday by surprising his unsuspecting audience with new handguns, which had been taped under their seats, Oprah-style. [Read More]

THE NEXT POPE SHOULD BE JEWISH

THE NEXT POPE SHOULD BE JEWISH

(SatireWire.com) – Once again, the answer to the age-old rhetorical question, “Is the Pope Catholic?” is yes. Once again, the cardinals in Rome have looked inward for a pontiff, effectively cutting themselves off from the world’s 5.8 billion non-Catholics. It defies [Read More]

WORLD’S MOST IGNORED LEADER WILL BE MISSED THEORETICALLY

WORLD’S MOST IGNORED LEADER WILL BE MISSED THEORETICALLY

VATICAN CITY (SatireWire) -- The leader of the world’s 1.2 billion Catholics officially resigned Thursday unless you define ‘Catholics’ as "people who actually practice Catholicism” and ‘leader’ as “person you still to listen to." [Read More]

SO WHY DON’T YOU WANT TO EAT ME? by A HORSE

SO WHY DON’T YOU WANT TO EAT ME?   by A HORSE

(SatireWire.com) -- So, you people are outraged that horse meat is ending up in your precious cow meat. You’re furious. You’re disgusted. But hey, you know what else you are? You’re assholes. [Read More]

REPORTS POSTED ACROSS INTERNET PROVE CHINA INNOCENT OF HACKING

REPORTS POSTED ACROSS INTERNET PROVE CHINA INNOCENT OF HACKING

NEW YORK (SatireWire.com) -- The People’s Republic of China has never hacked into corporate computers or web sites and any claims to the contrary are completely false, according to a report posted online today by The New York Times and, simultaneously, NBC, CBS, ABC, the [Read More]

SLAP-A-TIKE DAY CARE CENTERS SUDDENLY UNDER SCRUTINY

SLAP-A-TIKE DAY CARE CENTERS SUDDENLY UNDER SCRUTINY

CHARLOTTE, NC (SatireWire.com) -- Public outrage over a 60-year-old man who allegedly slapped a toddler on a Delta flight has put Slap-a-Tike Day Care Centers on the defensive, with many wondering why the nationwide chain hasn’t raised red flags before. [Read More]

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Latest Topics

TRUMP TO KEEP FAMILIES TOGETHER, STACKED INTO BORDER WALL

TRUMP TO KEEP FAMILIES TOGETHER, STACKED INTO BORDER WALL

PRES. TRUMP: We’ll call ‘em cinderbacks. Or wetbricks. SESSIONS: We can poll the base to see which makes them [Read More]

TRUMP CANCELS 2018 MIDTERMS TO THWART RUSSIAN MEDDLING

TRUMP CANCELS 2018 MIDTERMS TO THWART RUSSIAN MEDDLING

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an effort to keep Russia from interfering with democracy, the Trump administration today [Read More]

TRUMP WILL DEPLOY RUSSIAN TROOPS TO PURGE U.S. DEEP STATE

TRUMP WILL DEPLOY RUSSIAN TROOPS TO PURGE U.S. DEEP STATE

President Donald Trump today accepted an offer by Russian President Vladimir Putin to use “impartial” Russian [Read More]

GOP MAY RECONSIDER PLAN TO RUN SLATE OF RACIST PEDOPHILES IN ’18

GOP MAY RECONSIDER PLAN TO RUN SLATE OF RACIST PEDOPHILES IN ’18

BIRMINGHAM, AL - Following Roy Moore’s surprise loss to Democrat Doug Jones in the Alabama Senate race Tuesday, the [Read More]

For White Men to Survive, We Need to Start Acting Like Prey

For White Men to Survive, We Need to Start Acting Like Prey

In order to survive, we straight, white, Christian males need to stop acting like predators and begin acting like prey. [Read More]

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