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SPOILER ALERT: UN REPORT RUINS END OF GLOBAL WARMING DRAMA

NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) -- Global warming followers the world over were outraged today after the U.N. failed to include a “spoiler alert” on its new report [Read More]

INSIDE THE INSIDE THE INSIDE OF THE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS PROCESS

“People think it’s some grand, mysterious process, but honestly it’s not,” says one Yale University admissions officer. “It’s just GPA, test scores, clown masks [Read More]

WORLD LEADERS STAND UP TO PUTIN IN THEIR MINDS

KIEV, UKRAINE (SatireWire.com) -- Leaders from Europe and the United States today declared time was up on Russian President Vladimir Putin and vowed to thwart his invasion of [Read More]

International

RUSSIA TO ANNEX ST. PETERSBURG, FLA.

MOSCOW (SatireWire.com) -- After claiming the right to seize Crimea because of its Russian heritage, President Vladimir Putin announced today he will also have to annex St. [Read More]

Sci/Tech

HACKED FACEBOOK ACCOUNTS MAY EXPLAIN BILLIONS OF INANE POSTS

NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Investigators who learned hackers stole millions of [Read More]

MYSTERY DISEASE AFFECTS ONE IN NEARLY EVERY HUMAN BEING

ATLANTA (SatireWire) -- It is known by many names: Common Fulgent Peplepsia, The Kitchen [Read More]

NASA TURNS OFF SPACE TELESCOPES, GOES OUTSIDE

WASHINGTON, D.C. (SatireWire.com) – Saying everyone had spent more than enough time [Read More]

Business

CHEVY COBALT: “I HAVE A DISABILITY, NOT A DEFECT”

In the last several days I have been called everything from “flawed” to “tragically dangerous,” and it hurts. I am not defective. I simply have a genetic disability. [Read More]

Sports

POLL: 90% OF NFL WOULD LET GAY PLAYER FUCK THEM IF IT MEANS WINS

NEW YORK, NY (SatireWire.com) -- In a new poll that belies the perception that pro [Read More]

XANAX NAMED OFFICIAL ANTI-ANXIETAL OF SOCHI OLYMPICS

SOCHI, RUSSIA (SatireWire.com) – In response to endless travel warnings about suicide [Read More]

NFL PLAYERS MAY FACE HATE CRIMES FOR TARGETING UNIFORM COLOR

NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Nearly 700 National Football League players may be [Read More]

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