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Tuesday May 3rd 2016    Become a Fan on Facebook   Follow Us On Twitter

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PRESIDENTIAL PRIMARIES: THE BRUTALLY IMPARTIAL UPDATE

MANCHESTER, N.H. (SatireWire.com) – The presidential candidates spread out across New Hampshire today after Texas Sen. Climate Killer Everyone Hates Him He’s Canadian [Read More]

REPORT CONFIRMS POOREST HALF OF WORLD PROBABLY NOT EVEN TRYING

OXFORD, U.K. (SatireWire.com) -- A new report claims just 62 individuals control as much wealth as half the world’s population, leading economists to speculate that the [Read More]

MELTING ARCTIC ICE EXPOSES ANCIENT, OMINOUS MESSAGE

GREENLAND (SatireWire.com) -- Scientists today said ice melt in the Arctic is perhaps much worse than previously thought, reaching their conclusion after a massive slab of [Read More]

International

SCOTS VOTE TO STAY IN UK; “YES” VOTERS TO BE HANGED AS REBELS

LONDON (SatireWire.com) -- Declaring the rebels “will pay with their lives,” Queen Elizabeth II today revealed Thursday’s vote for Scottish independence was an [Read More]

Sci/Tech

MELTING ARCTIC ICE EXPOSES ANCIENT, OMINOUS MESSAGE

GREENLAND (SatireWire.com) -- Scientists today said ice melt in the Arctic is perhaps [Read More]

CREATIONIST TELESCOPE FINDS NEARLY 6,000-YEAR-OLD GALAXY

PETERSBURG, KY (SatireWire.com) – Creationists using a deep-faith telescope said today [Read More]

HACKED FACEBOOK ACCOUNTS MAY EXPLAIN BILLIONS OF INANE POSTS

NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – Investigators who learned hackers stole millions of [Read More]

Business

REPORT CONFIRMS POOREST HALF OF WORLD PROBABLY NOT EVEN TRYING

OXFORD, U.K. (SatireWire.com) -- A new report claims just 62 individuals control as much wealth as half the world’s population, leading economists to speculate that the [Read More]

Sports

FIFA ORDERS SUAREZ TO BE PUT DOWN

NATAL, BRAZIL (SatireWire.com) -- After a third biting incident in four years, Uruguayan [Read More]

STERLING WILLING TO SELL CLIPPERS IF HE CAN STILL OWN BLACK PLAYERS

LOS ANGELES (SatireWire.com) – In a last-ditch effort to compromise with the NBA, Los [Read More]

POLL: 90% OF NFL WOULD LET GAY PLAYER FUCK THEM IF IT MEANS WINS

NEW YORK, NY (SatireWire.com) -- In a new poll that belies the perception that pro [Read More]

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