Yahoo Beats Analysts' Estimates, Dogs
San Diego, Cal. (SatireWire.com) — Internet giant Yahoo!, which this week soundly beat analysts' estimates, reportedly wasn't satisfied and beat their dogs as well. Some analysts even reported getting wedgies. Said a very sore PaineWebber analyst Scott Feldstein, whose had his underwear jacked up to his shoulders: "I've had my estimates beaten plenty of times before, OK, so that's not what I'm upset about. But they didn't have to kick my cocker spaniel like that. Damn their quarter-over-quarter page-view growth."
In a statement, Yahoo Chairman Tim Koogle said the company is on track to beat estimates again next quarter, at which time analysts should expect, at the very least, "another visit from Mr. Cheeksplitter."
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