Briefs Archives

RECOMMEND THIS TO A FRIEND

RIAA Demands End to
Unauthorized Humming, Whistling
San Francisco, Calif. (SatireWire.com) — After using the courts to keep Napster and MP3.com from freely distributing music over the Internet, the Recording Industry Association of America today asked a federal judge to stop people from humming or whistling copyrighted songs in public. The RIAA also asked for $300 million in damages from the estimated 22 million drunken men who think banging out the opening drum beat to "Wipeout" is a good way to impress women in bars.

"Anyone who publicly hums or whistles is disseminating copyright-protected music and thereby infringing on our artists' rights," said RIAA spokesman Janet Fogerty. "Also, we don't like it when the wind blows. It sounds too much like the beginning to Elton John's 'Funeral for a Friend.'"

Free speech advocates were outraged over the RIAA's action, but women generally applauded. "Most of the guys I know can't drum Wipeout when they're sober, let alone drunk," said Helen Kurtz, a 22-year-old from Manhattan.

OTHER ARCHIVE 3 BRIEFS

¤ 'I Love You' Email Recipient
   Still Waiting for Flowers, Phone Call

¤ Lucent Finds New COO on Stock Message Board

¤ Firestone Peels Back Prices in Tire Sale Blowout!

¤ Firms Hire Jerks to Improve Customer Service

¤ Analyst Predicts Dow 5,000 by 1996

¤ Bush Promises Republican Internet If Elected

¤ Wrigley Launches "Internet Bubble" Gum®

¤ Amazon Says Stock Price "Mislabeled"

¤ Post Office Leads Way in New "Paper Technology"

¤ Small Tech Stocks Fall; Big, Slow, Dumb Stocks Rise

¤ RIAA Demands End to Unauthorized Humming, Whistling

¤ Taco Bell Fires Chihuahua; New Chalupa "Tastes Funny"

¤ Fired eBay Employees Auctioned Off

¤ Starving, Dying Poor to Get Much-Needed Net Access

¤ House Sends Spam Bill to Senate; Senate Spam Filter Deletes It

¤ Yahoo Beats Analysts' Estimates, Dogs

¤ Pizza Hut-Sponsored Russian Rocket Explodes; Thin Crust Blamed

¤ Domino's-Sponsored Rocket Late, Probably Cold

¤ Greenspan: "I'm More Popular than Jesus"

¤ Windows Not a Virus

Copyright © 2000, SatireWire.

Technology news - Computer Reviews - Panic Attacks and Anxiety Disorders - Startup Ideas & Small Business Advice - Trade Suppliers Directory - Wholesale Forum - Wholesale Marketplace & Trade Suppliers - Wholesale Directory - How I - Swimming Pool Repair - Pump Repair - Parenting Help