SatireWire
   
New Satire for the New Economy
SatireWire | dot.com.edy

 

UMTHINGS
History Tour T-Shirts and UmWear. V. Funny, V. Smart

CAMEO
Cool Estate Jewelry. Impress her for once.

PunchBowl
Throw Your Best Party Yet.

FARK.COM
It's not news, it's Drew's.

BBSPOT.COM
It's not Drew, it's Brian

Flag Hill Winery

The Angel Anthony Group
e-solutions for your business



Briefs in a Brief
Briefs Archives
Brief Archive 4
Brief Archive 3
Brief Archive 2
Brief Archive 1
RECOMMEND THIS
TO A FRIEND

Post Office Leading the Way
In New "Paper Technology"

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) — The U.S. Postal Service's plan to print customer emails and send them as more expensive first-class mail may be the "tip of the iceberg," according to analysts who predict that many other digital documents could also be produced at much higher cost, and much more slowly, by utilizing new "paper technology."

The comments come after the Post Office said this week it will test an email-to-paper system allowing customers to send emails to a post office to be printed and delivered as first-class mail. The cost would be 41 cents — eight cents more than current 33-cent postage.

"Theoretically, documents that now take up only a fraction of space on a single computer could be converted into literally mountains of paper," said UBS Warburg analyst Gloria Naderki, who added she was also monitoring the postal service's experimental messenger-by-horse technology, which she estimated is "at least 100 years away." On a related note, Monsanto today revealed it is working on technology that will convert MP3s -- music delivered digitally, often for free, over the Web -- into expensive CDs and, eventually, 8-track tapes.

OTHER ARCHIVE 3 BRIEFS

¤ 'I Love You' Email Recipient
   Still Waiting for Flowers, Phone Call

¤ Lucent Finds New COO on Stock Message Board

¤ Firestone Peels Back Prices in Tire Sale Blowout!

¤ Firms Hire Jerks to Improve Customer Service

¤ Analyst Predicts Dow 5,000 by 1996

¤ Bush Promises Republican Internet If Elected

¤ Wrigley Launches "Internet Bubble" Gum®

¤ Amazon Says Stock Price "Mislabeled"

¤ Post Office Leads Way in New "Paper Technology"

¤ Small Tech Stocks Fall; Big, Slow, Dumb Stocks Rise

¤ RIAA Demands End to Unauthorized Humming, Whistling

¤ Taco Bell Fires Chihuahua; New Chalupa "Tastes Funny"

¤ Fired eBay Employees Auctioned Off

¤ Starving, Dying Poor to Get Much-Needed Net Access

¤ House Sends Spam Bill to Senate; Senate Spam Filter Deletes It

¤ Yahoo Beats Analysts' Estimates, Dogs

¤ Pizza Hut-Sponsored Russian Rocket Explodes; Thin Crust Blamed

¤ Domino's-Sponsored Rocket Late, Probably Cold

¤ Greenspan: "I'm More Popular than Jesus"

¤ Windows Not a Virus

Copyright © 2000, SatireWire.

Back to Top

UmThings: we sell, um, things

 



SatireWire: dot.com.edy
SatireWire is intended for use by those age 18 and older. All stories are fictional and satirical and should not in any way be construed as fact. Please read our disclaimer. All contents Copyright © 1999-2003, SatireWire, LLC. All rights reserved.

Computer Reviews - Panic Attacks and Anxiety Disorders - Startup Ideas & Small Business Advice - Trade Suppliers Directory - Wholesale Forum - Wholesale Marketplace & Trade Suppliers - Wholesale Directory - Crazy Slots Casino