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Lieberman, Wooing Tech, Sits Shiva For Dot-Com

Austin, Texas (SatireWire.com) — In an apparent effort to win support from the Internet industry, Democratic vice presidential candidate Joseph Lieberman sat shiva yesterday with executives of online furniture retailer living.com, which filed for bankruptcy this week.

However, Lieberman's visit came as a surprise to living.com CEO Shaun Holliday who, not being Jewish, said he wasn't actually sitting shiva. "A few of us were sitting around the office, talking about what happened, when in walks Sen. Lieberman, all glum, saying 'Baruch dayan emet,'" Holliday recalled. "Then he hands us a basket of hard-boiled eggs and cooked lentils, insisting it's his 'contribution to the Seudat Havra'ah,' whatever that is." The executives fled after Lieberman covered all the mirrors, ripped their clothing, and insisted everyone sit on the floor. Added Holliday: "What's Yiddish for 'wackadoodle?'"

OTHER ARCHIVE 4 BRIEFS

¤ Ford Recalls Chrysler Minivans

¤ Dot-Coms Sick of Survivor Analogies

¤ Microsoft Wants O.J. Jury

¤ Parker Bros. Replaces Play Money with Euro

¤ AOL Offers 25 Years Free Access for First Month

¤ Still No Helmut Kohl Pics at Porn Sites

¤ New M&Enemas® Provide Instant Sugar Fix

¤ Israel Offers Palestinians Virtual Statehood
   for $49.95/Month

¤ Morgan Stanley Misses Estimates Dearly

¤ CokeSpill Virus Hits Innnntel, DDDDellll

¤ Teen Killed in Dispute Over $70 Pair of Domains

¤ Mazda Metaphor a Hit with Symbolic Car Buyers

¤ Vision of Greenspan Sighted in Tree

¤ Battered MP3 Says It's "Only a Flesh Wound"

¤ Net Company to Hold Second IPO

¤ Dot-Coms Just Dying to Get Prized OTC Listing

¤ Telecom Merger Will Create First Ever
   "Single Phone Company"

¤ Lieberman, Courting Tech, Sits Shiva For Dead Dot-Com

¤ Hackers Attack Air-Traffic Control Centers,
   Cause "On-Time Chaos"

¤ King's e-Book Plants Virus

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