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Greenspan "I'm More Popular
Than Jesus"

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) -- Federal Reserve Board Chairman Alan Greenspan, who told a London Evening Standard reporter last week he was "more popular than Jesus Christ," apologized today to the world's 600 million Roman Catholics, and asked them to please get the hell off his lawn. "I was not saying I was greater or better than Jesus," Greenspan told the followers. "Now go away, and take all this myrrh with you."

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¤ Lucent Finds New COO on Stock Message Board

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¤ Analyst Predicts Dow 5,000 by 1996

¤ Bush Promises Republican Internet If Elected

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¤ Yahoo Beats Analysts' Estimates, Dogs

¤ Pizza Hut-Sponsored Russian Rocket Explodes; Thin Crust Blamed

¤ Domino's-Sponsored Rocket Late, Probably Cold

¤ Greenspan: "I'm More Popular than Jesus"

¤ Windows Not a Virus

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