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FBI TARGETS PARANOID
Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) — The FBI disclosed today that it has been systematically reading and deleting email messages sent to and from paranoid people. According to a Bureau spokesman, the FBI has been pursuing the strategy for "exactly as long as those people think we've been doing it."

MORE FROM BRIEFS ARCHIVE #2

¤ Big Tobacco Can't Afford Verdict; Smokers Must Buy More Cigarettes

¤ Airlines Drop Arrival, Departure Times

¤ CDNow Wins Patent on "Money-Losing Business Model"

¤ DrKoop.com Ordered To Display Warning Label

¤ IMF Rate Hike Suggestion Proves Hike Not Needed

¤ OPEC Relents, Will "Suck Earth Dry"

¤ New Web Site for Those Without Net Access

¤ Airlines "Disappointed" by Mid-Air Merger Test

¤ "Love Bug" Is "Worm," Hackers "Twits

¤ Priceline Launches "Name Price for Bail"

¤ StarMedia, "AOL of Latin America," Unveils Busy Signals

¤ MP3 to Steal, Sell Your Stuff

¤ Tears Shed on Emotional Day for Stocks

¤ Consumer Confidence Falls; Teens Questioned

¤ AOL Profits from Gumboless Space

¤ FBI Targets Paranoid

¤ Kellogg's Nailed for "Bundling"

¤ Free Computers Not Free; Nation's Idiots in Denial

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