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Taco Bell Chihuahua Fired;
New Chalupa "Tastes Funny"

New York, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) — One week after falling sales caused Taco Bell to ditch its famous Chihuahua, the company unveiled a reformulated chalupa, described as a "crispy, flaky shell with sour cream, lettuce, tomatoes, and a new, tough-and-stringy meat product that tastes like chicken." The company insisted the new chalupa, which will be sold "as long as supplies last," has nothing to do with the beloved Chihuahua, who was popularized in Taco Bell ads but did little to help sales. "We still love that little dog," said spokesman Gary Ebehardt, "especially with a side order of zesty Mexican rice."

Concurrent with the Chihuahua's firing, Taco Bell parent company Tricon Global Restaurants Inc., also replaced Taco Bell president Peter C. Waller, who it said "will be pursuing other interests" as part of a nutritious Fiesta Breakfast Burrito.

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¤ Lucent Finds New COO on Stock Message Board

¤ Firestone Peels Back Prices in Tire Sale Blowout!

¤ Firms Hire Jerks to Improve Customer Service

¤ Analyst Predicts Dow 5,000 by 1996

¤ Bush Promises Republican Internet If Elected

¤ Wrigley Launches "Internet Bubble" Gum®

¤ Amazon Says Stock Price "Mislabeled"

¤ Post Office Leads Way in New "Paper Technology"

¤ Small Tech Stocks Fall; Big, Slow, Dumb Stocks Rise

¤ RIAA Demands End to Unauthorized Humming, Whistling

¤ Taco Bell Fires Chihuahua; New Chalupa "Tastes Funny"

¤ Fired eBay Employees Auctioned Off

¤ Starving, Dying Poor to Get Much-Needed Net Access

¤ House Sends Spam Bill to Senate; Senate Spam Filter Deletes It

¤ Yahoo Beats Analysts' Estimates, Dogs

¤ Pizza Hut-Sponsored Russian Rocket Explodes; Thin Crust Blamed

¤ Domino's-Sponsored Rocket Late, Probably Cold

¤ Greenspan: "I'm More Popular than Jesus"

¤ Windows Not a Virus

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