Briefs Archives

RECOMMEND THIS TO A FRIEND

U.S. Drops Cats Into Belgium

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) — Countering accusations from liberals and conservatives alike that U.S. policy in the Middle East has become "confused and incoherent," the Bush administration today announced that it has in fact parachuted 225,000 cats into Belgium.

Said White House spokesman Ari Fleischer: "The U.S. continues to support the peace process between the Palestinians and the Israelis, and that is why we have been dropping cats into Belgium, and will continue dropping cats into Belgium, until all of Brussels is purring under a two-foot-deep blanket of cats."

Asked by one reporter what the operation had to do with halting violence in the West Bank and Gaza, a visibly irritated Fleischer held up a map of the region and a six-month-old tabby.

"Israel. Palestine. Cats," he said. "Belgium."

OTHER CURRENT BRIEFS

¤ Nuke Waste Repository Could Turn Moon Into Wasteland

¤ Study Saying Pessimists Die Sooner No Surprise to Pessimists

¤ Zimbabwe Changes Name to AAA Zimbabwe

¤ Study: Motorcyclists Who Cut in Traffic Jams Are ***holes

¤ Bin Laden Hit Hard By News Of His Death

¤ Spain, Morocco Fight Over, Have Same IQ As, Rock

¤ Wall Street Has Worst Day Since Yesterday

¤ Michael Jackson Still Thinks He's Black

¤ Martha Stewart Says Laws Only Apply to People

¤ Bush Finally Evacuated from White House

¤ Ventura's Departure Bodes Ill for Wrestlers

¤ Arabs Slyly Building Wall Around Israel

¤ Savvy Balloonist Starts Round-World Trip Halfway Round World

¤ MTV Kills Unsuspecting Man, Films Hilarious Reaction

¤ FBI Vows to Address, Track, Record Concerns

¤ New Attention Deficit Drug Is... Um...

¤ Dems Accused of Pointing Wrong Finger

¤ NASA Just Goes and Launches Satellite

¤ Your Work Habits Explained

¤ Cloning White People Deemed Redundant

¤ Ruling Lets Pilots Act All Crazy

¤ FBI Offers Reward for Info on FBI Investigation

¤ Bush: "How About a Historical Reenactment?"

¤ Americans Told to Have Sex with the Dutch

¤ Bush: "Dad Left Wallet in Iraq"

¤ Nebula Says Hubble Pics Faked

¤ Physician-Assisted Suicide Debate Rages

¤ Howard Says Name Not Euphemism

¤ French Successfully Increase Enmity Toward French

¤ U.S. Drops Cats Into Belgium

¤ Australia Reclassifies Refugees as Sport

¤ Bush Calls For Truce So U.S. Can Attack Iraq

¤ Halle Berry's Husband Can't Stop
   Fantasizing About Halle Berry

¤ Idiot Dad Recommends Great Web Sight

¤ Town Must Have Designated Satan Areas

¤ Ships, Thatcher, No Longer "She"

¤ Zimbabwe Challenger Shocked at Loss; Also Stabbbed

¤ Israel Says Arafat Can Come Out, Really

¤ BMW Gets Blue Windscreen of Death

¤ Hooked On Phonics Files for I Pee Oh

¤ Elderly Sex Studies Put Young People Off Sex

¤ Lay Takes the Fifth, 6-1, 3-6, 4-6, 7-5, 6-0

¤ Hot Trend at Kiddie Parties: CFOs

¤ Al Qaeda Proposes $249.98 Military Budget

¤ India Sends Message by Invading

¤ Amazon Turns Profit, Say Flying Pigs

¤ Kmart Hires Arthur Andersen

¤ Putin Says We're Independent, Says Media

¤ Ambrose Calls Plagiarism Charge "Much Ado About Nothing

¤ Argentina Starts Presidential Draft

¤ T&A on Line Two

¤ Pregnant Women Can Fly

¤ Anthrax Hoax Suspect Says He Is Free to Go

¤ Packards Vote to Rename Company Packard-Hewlett

¤ AP, Reuters in Pitched Spelling Battle

¤ Mullah Omar Apparently Vague on the "We" Thing

¤ Study: Monogamists With More Than
   One Spouse May Become Polygamists

¤ Bin Laden Rookie Card Drops in Value

¤ World Bank to Help Afghans Amass Staggering Debt

¤ Airline's "Fly, Goddamnit" Campaign Not Taking Off

¤ O.J. to Train Ground Troops

¤ Little Girl Picks Wrong Time to Fall In Well

¤ Night Ranger Concert Nets $98 for Victims

¤ Lucent Stays Focused on Losing Money

¤ Taliban Bets on U.S. Win

¤ MCI Offers "Friends & Family & FBI" Plan

¤ Senate Declares Bush No Longer Goofy

¤ Conptr@Versjal Nev Kkeyboadr Duficulp to Lern^

¤ 85% of Jobless Say They're Not Just Statistic

¤ Consumer Reports Says Consumer Reports Unsafe

¤ Fat Smoker Can't Wait Forever For Burger

¤ French Strike for Greater Productivity

¤ MP3.com Wins Achievement Award

¤ Merger Will Create Largest ISP
   To Someday Declare Bankruptcy

¤ Exxon Mobil Declares Martial Law

¤ Earth to Wal-Mart...

¤ Volvo with Spoiler Still Just Volvo

¤ 92 Percent of Web Sites Made in China

¤ Sites Offer Large Print for Old People

¤ White House Denies Hackers Altered Site

¤ Friends Recall Gist of Cliffs Notes Founder

¤ CMGI to Merge with Napster

¤ Argentine Minister Hated That Dog

¤ Intel Says Not Bunch of "Fancy Dans"

¤ Homeless Reclassified as "Mobile Internet Users"

¤ Dean Witter to Measure Success
   By Tracking Revenues, Expenses

¤ Longtime Bear Pretty Much Unbearable

¤ Unemployed Relieved to Learn U.S. Not in Recession

¤ Companies May Be to Blame for Their Performance

¤ Kozmo.com to Lay Off Staff in Under an Hour

¤ Tiny NetCo Insists It's Bellwether

¤ Short, Snappy Headlines

¤ Californians Launch Email Campaign;
   To Conserve Energy

¤ CEO Surprises Employees

¤ Intel Has Smaller Chips; AMD Smaller Employees

¤ DotComGuy Drops 'DotCom', Now Just 'Guy'

¤ 14 Remaining Netscape Users Rejoice Over Netscape 6

¤ GE Succession Losers Demand Recount

¤ To Exclude French, Yahoo Pushes British Wines

¤ Business-to-Unemployment Dubbed Next Big Thing

¤ "Sponsorship Rectangles to Replace Banner Ads

¤ Central Bank to Intervene in Football Matches

¤ Microsoft Hacker Still A Mystery;
   Sun Releases Sun Office, Sun Me

¤ Internet Company Hires Employee

¤ Janet Reno Awarded VirginMary.com Domain

¤ Media: Typos in Microsoft Earnings Release!

¤ Bush Vows to Cut Internet Taxes

¤ Priceline Pre-announces 2002 Bankruptcy

¤ Consumer Confidence Erodes into Ocean

¤ SatireWire to Lay Off Half of Staff

¤ Merger Won't Result in Redundant Job Positions

Copyright © 2000-2002, SatireWire.

Office Outlook Essentials - Excel add-ins for work automation - Technology news - plumbing supply house - Sell Houses Fast for Cash - DirectoryDump Web Directory - Edinburgh hotels - tyres - Panic Attacks and Anxiety Disorders