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Hackers Attack Air-Traffic Control Centers, Cause "On-Time Chaos"

Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) — A congressional report warning that U.S. air traffic control is vulnerable to computer attack proved true today, as hackers broke into several control center computers, wreaking havoc on the airline industry by causing planes to land safely and on time.

"Our systems are not designed for this kind of reckless, irresponsible efficiency," stressed Delta Airlines spokesman Dan Ryan who, like other airline executives, said he would go to Washington to meet with the FAA. "Until these individuals are stopped, we cannot guarantee... oh damn, my plane's here already. I've got to go. This is lunacy."

OTHER ARCHIVE 4 BRIEFS

¤ Ford Recalls Chrysler Minivans

¤ Dot-Coms Sick of Survivor Analogies

¤ Microsoft Wants O.J. Jury

¤ Parker Bros. Replaces Play Money with Euro

¤ AOL Offers 25 Years Free Access for First Month

¤ Still No Helmut Kohl Pics at Porn Sites

¤ New M&Enemas® Provide Instant Sugar Fix

¤ Israel Offers Palestinians Virtual Statehood
   for $49.95/Month

¤ Morgan Stanley Misses Estimates Dearly

¤ CokeSpill Virus Hits Innnntel, DDDDellll

¤ Teen Killed in Dispute Over $70 Pair of Domains

¤ Mazda Metaphor a Hit with Symbolic Car Buyers

¤ Vision of Greenspan Sighted in Tree

¤ Battered MP3 Says It's "Only a Flesh Wound"

¤ Net Company to Hold Second IPO

¤ Dot-Coms Just Dying to Get Prized OTC Listing

¤ Telecom Merger Will Create First Ever
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¤ Lieberman, Courting Tech, Sits Shiva For Dead Dot-Com

¤ Hackers Attack Air-Traffic Control Centers,
   Cause "On-Time Chaos"

¤ King's e-Book Plants Virus

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